Karma's a bitch {Daryl Dixon}

44 || In Memory Of

It's night time. We're both fairly sober now.

"I get why my dad stopped drinking."

"You feel sick?" I ask her

"Nope. I wish I could feel like this all the time. That's bad."

"Your lucky your a happy drunk."

"Yeah, I'm lucky. Some people can be real jerks when they drink." She says referring to me

"Yeah, I'm a dick when I'm drunk."

I pause

"Merle had this dealer. This janky little white guy. A tweaker. One day we were over at his house watching tv. Wasn't even noon yet we were all wasted. Merle was high. We were watching this show. Merle was talking all this dumb stuff about it. He wouldn't let up. Merle never could. Turns it was the tweaker's kid's favorite show. And he never sees his kids, so he felt guilty about it or something. So he punches Merle in the face. So I started hitting the tweaker, like, hard. As hard as I can. Then he pulls a gun, sticks it right here. He says, 'I'm gonna kill you bitch.' So Merle pulls his gun on him. Everyone's yelling I'm yelling. I thought I was dead. Over a dumb cartoon 'bout a talking dog."

"How'd you get out of it?" She asks

"The tweaker punched me in the gut. I puked. They both started laughing and forgot all I about it."

I look down then back up again.

"You wanna know what I was before all this?"

Only Karma knew. She was the only one I told. The only one I trusted. The knew what I went through. She went through the same thing.

"I was just drifting around with Merle, doing whatever he said we were gonna be doing that day. I was nobody. Nothing. Some redneck asshole and an even bigger asshole for a brother."

"You miss him don't you?" She asks "I miss Maggie. I miss her bossing me around. I miss my big brother Shawn. He was so annoying and overprotective. And my dad. I thought- I hoped he lives the rest of his life in peace, you know?"

She pauses and looks down

"I thought Maggie and Glenn would have a baby. And he'd get to be a grandpa. And we'd have birthdays and holidays and summer picnics. And he'd get really old. And I'd happen but it'd be quiet. I'd be okay. He'd be surrounded by people he loved."

She pauses and starts getting upset.

"That's how unbelievably stupid I am." She says through tears

"That's how It was supposed to be," I tell her

"I wish I could just... change."

"You did," I say

"Not enough. Not like you. Not like Karma. It's like you were made for how things are right now."

"I'm just used to it, things were ugly. Growing up in a place like this. Same for Karma."

"Well, you got away from it." She says

"I didn't," I argue

"You did."

"Maybe you gotta keep on reminding me sometimes."

"No. You can't depend on anybody for anything right?" She says quoting me

"I'll be gone someday." She says

"Stop."

"I will. You're gonna be the last man standing. You and Karma. Your gonna miss me so bad when I'm gone, Daryl Dixon."

"You ain't a happy drunk at all," I say

"Yeah, I'm happy I'm just not blind. You gotta stay who you are, not who you were. Places like this, you have to put it away."

"What if you can't?"

"You have to. Or it kills you." She says "here." She points to her heart.

"We should go inside."

"We should burn it down. To remember Karma."

I get up and walk to the door.

"We're gonna need more booze."

We go inside and start spraying everything with moonshine. Getting the ceiling, the walls, furniture. We make sure to get everything.

Then we walk outside. I hold out some matches to her

"You wanna?"

"Hell, yeah."

She lights a match. I hold out a stack of money for her to burn. We light it on fire and throw it in the building. Everything lights up.

We stand back and watch the building burn. I throw more moonshine into the house. We walk farther from the building.

Beth flips off the burning building. She taps me on the arm

"It's what Karma would do." She says smiling

I flip off the building too. Smiling of the memory of her flipping off the pigpen.

Walkers begin to go near the building so we walk off into the woods