Witch of Love ? (Blackstar x Reader fan fic)

Chapter 30: Love ?

You sighed,ending up under a tree. You sat under it,hugging your knees. No one knows about the letter's contents,except for Stein and Kuroha. But even one of them wasn't around at the moment.

You just realized that you're all on your own. And with that letter,it's sure that your dad's back. What if he shows up and kidnaps you ?

You closed your eyes,shifting. Everytime you remember the letter,flashbacks enter your mind. Invading your sight and hearing.

"Tch. You should've just died all along with your good-for-nothing mom,usless twit !" The male yelled as he tossed a bottle at your head,shattering it as you whimpered in the pain. He slurred a bit,then laid down on the couch and fell asleep for being drunk. You sat on your knees and touched your head if there's a cut,but luckily,none. You sighed,standing up and going to get the broom and dustpan. "I hate this…"

You looked at your left arm,then rolled the sleeves up. Then,you saw a long,old scar running on your wrist. Yep,you tried killing yourself before. But quickly stopped and regretted it.

*ting !*

Light bulb ! Of course ! You can just do it again ! And your dad won't catch you again,you won't live that hell again.

You reached out for your bag for scissors. You opened the bag and took it,opening it for the sharp part to show. You took a deep sigh before pressing the blade against your skin. Now… Just one swift,and it's done.

But… An image from your mind stopped you. Your eyes shot wide,your hands starting tremble. Wait,if you're gonna kill yourself here all alone… What would he feel ? Would he be sad ? Will he cry ?

What exactly would Blackstar feel ?

You gasped then quickly took the scissors' blade away from your skin,tossing it far from you. It already had a mark,but no blood. You panted,holding your wrist and sighing.

"Cause I can't go to classes knowing you're sick ! Uh… I… I can't focus…"

You blinked as you heard his stutter in your head. Right. He cares for you. Speaking of Blackstar...

You noticed it since day one. He was sticking around you. He cared for you. No,cares. He watched over you when you were sick,he brought you to the infirmary when you had a sprained ankle,he went to you when you were alone in the balcony in that dance… He's just… Everywhere near you.

And all those times,it confused you. Like,why ? What's his reason ?

Not only that. What confused you more is you. Your actions,and feelings.

You felt heat in your face when he carried you to the infirmary at your first day. When he said that he can't focus knowing you're sick,it made you feel happy… Like invisible strings pulled your mouth into a smile. And when he danced with you. You were feeling butterflies in your stomach. And you felt happy,with your heart beat syncing in the rhythm of your steps. Just.… You don't know why.

"Mom,can I ask something ?"

You blinked,hearing the conversation of a kid and her mom. You looked at them and slightly frowned,sad that you never felt how to have a loving parent.

"Sure,what is it ?"

"Uhm… My classmates were talking about being in love with some person… What is it ?"

You looked startled. You suddenly had the urge to listen so you just did.

"Well… That kind of love is for two people,just like me and your dad. It starts with a blush,then butterflies in the person's stomach,and then the heartbeat. When you're feeling all of those when a certain person is around,you are in love with him/her."

Your eyes shot wide. So that's what love is ? Ohhh.. Cool.

Wait—NOT COOL !

Blush ? Well… You blushed when Blackstar's around…

Butterflies in your stomach ? Uh… In the dance…

Heartbeat ? Dance also…

So… I'm in love with Blackstar ?

Hell. No.

I can't ! Just,why him ?! And why love ?! No one ever loved me. My real father hates me. If no one loves me,I can't love other people ! That's just so unfair ! But still,there's a possibility… Besides,he's kind at you. So… Why not ?

Wait—What 'Why not ?!"

"AGH ! NOW I HATE LOVE EVEN MORE ! IT'S SO CONFUSING !"