Love That Fly Away

HeartBroken part-2

It was humiliating very humiliating when all the guests in the house asked  my parents and Ryan' s parents what happened? Why are they cancelling the wedding? They somehow made an excuse to them. But still it was horrible for them to face this all. I was feeling so ashamed that i dint even came out of my room all day.

Finally in the evening mom came in my room and asked me what happened? I dint had any choice but to tell her the truth after all it was them who are facing the crueal situation out there which was caused by me and only me.

I told her everything about Ashad and Ryan as well. But what surprised me was her reaction. First she dint said anything. I was expecting a slap from her but she just looked at me and said " Don't worry hard time will pass away. We are there with you." And that was enough to make me cry. But this time i cried because i realized that how much my mom loves me. I knew that it was so humiluating for her. Ryan just walked away or i should say fly away like nothing happened. But i still dont understand why that hate feeling didn't came in my heart for him. I want to hate him like badly, more than i hate Ashad but it seems impossible to built that hateness for him. The only feeling i felt in my heart was of pain. Pain that i got from him.

After all the guest left the house we also packed our bags for leaving. We dint even visited the grand hotel which was booked for my wedding. Everything was beyond perfect just a day ago and now its all over like it never existed. Ahmad uncle and sheena aunty dint said anything. It was a tough situation for them. Everyone had a lots of question in thier mind but they just dont know how to ask them.

I came downstairs with my bag and other luggage. I kept looking at the ground all the time. I dint had the courage to face any of them. I knew that mom is not going to say anything of what i said to her to anyone. But still it was impossible for me to face Ryan's parents at that time. Sheena aunty came and hugged me but dint said anything. If this could have been any of thier other child unfortunately they don't have any expect Ryan, they would have had  enquired about this whole situation like CBI but because it was Ryan's decision thats why everone was quite.Ryan had always had some kind of strictness in him. No one just no one can question his desicion. Not even his parents not because they are afraid of him but because they just know his attitude and habits and how his mindset is. He is just so authorative.

Sia was also there with us. No one asked anything to me throughout the journey. But whenever i saw my parents face that guilt feeling hit me hard. I was totally broken from inside i dint knew whats gonna happen when i will reach home. Even at the time of leaving Ryan's house i was still hoping that may be he will come from  somewhere and marry me may be... but he dint came. I dint even seen Ashad after that and i dint  even care. I just want him to go in hell. He had ruined my life. I just can't forgive him ever. But more than him i hate myself. How can i be such a fool. I ruined my life with my own hands.

We reached home after the long tyring journey. Sia went to her house i dint said anything she just hugged me and said " Take care it will be okay soon" i knew she was also confused
About what happened. But like everyone she also dint wanted to disturb me more with her questions.

I went in my room. And just laid on my bed. I dint even switched on the light. I kept it dark like my life. I felt more aquainted with this darkness than the light which i loved before. I was not crying. I dint had any tears left in me. I was still wondering why can't i hate him like i hate Ashad why am i still worrying about him? Why do i still care for his heart when mine is broken and shattered in pieces? Why do  i  still love him? Why?

I dint had any answer for this. I just don't know. All i knew is its over. I have to restart my life again. Which is next to impossible. And i don't even know how am i going to manage myself. And my family i cant face them. I knew that they are not going to ask me anything but still its going to be really difficult to face them after knowing what horrible things our relatives have said them about me and my wedding  and how humiliating it was for them to answer them. I knew that the society and our neighbourhood are going to taunt us about this everyday. They are not going to bare us. I have to be strong to face this all. Or i should just stay in my room all the time. And i choose the second option. It was too hard for me to face the world and more than that my own family.
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I started being in my room all the time. I barely used to go out when my  mom would call me so many time for lunch or dinner. My apetite was gone but i still had to eat for my family cuz i dont wanted them to worry about me anymore. We were back to our normal life but things were not normal like it was before this whole marriage cancelled thing  happened.