Collide : A Robsten Fanfiction

Chapter 9 : Another Birthday

London

Dec 5, 2013

"Happy Birthday"

"Thank you" Tom smirked. "Though that would have been better if it came with a smile" he continued.

"Smart ass" I mumbled. "Aren't you just glad I'm here? And 2 weeks early for a party if I may say."

Tom laughed and moved over so I could sit right next to him on the counter.  I just arrived in the pub where he was celebrating his birthday in advance.

I looked around trying to get the feel of the place. Aah London pubs. They never change. That's good, at least I have something constant to look forward to.

"What's with the long face?" Tom asked. It was just the two of us, Sienna was at another table greeting some friends.

"I don't know, but thanks for inviting me over. I needed the diversion"I admitted.

"Sure you do. What's up in lala land?" he probed. We both know what he was asking.

I haven't really talked about the episode last October. I had so many things to do there was just no time for grieving or regrets. Time flew by with none the wiser.

Now, it's December. We haven't communicated since that day. Unlike the one that happened in May where we at least had some civil exchanges of the most mundane things afterwards. Some pleasant inquiry about current projects or shared co-stars, find my inbox once in a while. It was a welcome truce.

I moved out of her place and camp at the Chateau while I waited for the house I was renting. She actually helped me pack, though if I do go there, she would be out and vice versa.  Boxes with labels organized in her manner was placed on the side, although I noticed she left some of my stuff and didn't pack it. Some caps and shirts and jackets are still in the drawer as if waiting for a usual weekend visit. I didn't bother taking it.

All i asked of her was space, I'm not even sure what that meant. Although that pretty much sums it up. A 'Hi, hello' in our messages and an occasional phone call from her asking how I was doing.  If I think back, I realized she did gave me the space I needed, but she also tried her best to keep things civil.

Then I ended it. I ended it just because of one incident, just because she missed me. For like the entire month she tried setting up a lunch date at her place or even a gig and a night out at our frequented spots. I said no all the time, till she gave in and drove to my place that october day.

She said she was weak and the civility was just too cold. She said she just wanted to see me even for a while, coz she knows I'll never take the first step to reach out.

So, she came, and then I broke her heart.

"Finished woolgathering?" Tom broke into my thoughts. He was already on his second bottle.

"I was just thinking" I sighed.

"You've been doing a lot of that lately." He said with a nod. "Kristen's no better"

I flinched and didn't answer.

"She calls me and Sienna sometimes" He admitted.

"What? Why?" I narrowed my eyes at him. Kristen calling them is a surprise. Maybe because they were his friends and it's just awkward.

"Coz she's our friend too Rob...and really, she loves Marlowe and asks about her all the time" Tom answered. An incredulous  look on his face. He can judge, it's fine. I admit I'm being an asshole lately.

"I'm not saying she can't call you. I'm just surprised that's all" My voice was raspy, must be all the beers I've been drinking.

Tom was silent. So when he spoke up it was the last question I expected from him.

"Did you make it hard for her?" he asked. His voice was too soft, I can barely hear it over the loud voices in the place.

"I don't know what qualifies as hard." I  answered honestly. "She came over and I wasn't expecting it. We had a row, then I just had to tell her it's over...but I just can't tell her to leave, so I went upstairs locked myself in my room thinking that she'd be gone by then"

"Rob...." Tom interrupted.

"No let me finish. I thought she would be gone" I continued.

There's not stopping me, I finally have the chance to get it out of my system, now that Tom is here to listen.

.

"After a few hours I heard her slam the front door. I was surprised she was still there, so I checked and saw her getting in her truck. That stupid old truck that's more of a danger most of the time!"

God, I was so angry that day. I was so angry when she revved it and all I can think about was how she could be in danger going home distressed like that. I remember running down the stairs grabbing the keys to my jeep and chasing her down the road.

"You know what I did? After I made her cry, I can't believe I still had the nerve to try to see her home safely..." I laughed to myself. "I was an asshole."

Tom just stared at me not knowing what to say. I didn't know what to say after that either.

So I pretended everything's fine again.

I look over to him and found him frowning. Maybe he was concerned about Kristen, and that thought gave me comfort. The more people who love her the better, to make up for the shit I did.  I smiled at him now.

"Thanks for that!" I patted his back. "Now enough with the morose mood!" I exclaimed, then pulled him up to join the rest of the party.

It was a good night. It was good coz it made me forget.