Collide : A Robsten Fanfiction

Chapter 17 : Hopeless

"So what exactly do you want us to be doing?" I asked.

I'm amazed by the equanimity I'm showing by asking that question.  I was fine when they both told me that they're going through the project, but I should have completely flipped out when they stated I was to play the part intended.

No shit. I should've know when they both appeared in my doorway today.

"Hmm...well it is a series of love songs of mine that will be connected by the same lovers in the videos" Katy answered while browsing the pink portfolio she brought.

"So it's a music video" I clarified.

"Yes....but not really in that sense" Katy beamed. "It will be amazing."

"How many days again?" I asked.  If we can finish this in a few days I can probably return to my normal state of equilibrium. Rob can return to his own exile and we would both be fine. No harm done.

Besides, I've been rethinking stuff with Nicholas lately.

Isn' t ironic how you decide something, then the world conspires to work against it the very moment too?

Magnificent.

"Days? Weeks more likely." Katy snorted.

"Weeks..." I repeated it to myself. "You know I can't commit that long. Thomas still needs me"

I glanced at Rob who was quiet the entire time. He's probably listening to the conversation but opted out earlier, leaving me to face a decision.

I went down after putting Thomas to sleep, which is not an easy task. That kid has the energy of a 5 year old, but I love him. He could be the naughtiest and I still won't complain. He's the best thing that ever happened to me.

How could I not choose him over everything in my life? He only has me, and yes Nicholas who will always be there for him, but what binds Thomas and Nicholas largely depends on me too.

I knew it was a big decision I was making to keep him, that would mean giving up a lot of things in my life. That also meant I was gaining something so valuable my life would never be the same.

That was also why I decided to cut down projects then actually not having them at all for the first year of his life. I was able to spend every waking hour with him, how can I give that up now?

"It's only for a week. You can bring him with you" Katy continued.

"What?" I asked. For a moment, what she was suggesting was hard to imagine.

"I would love to see him everyday!" This time she was even more convinced that this was the only road to take.

"Katy! That baby needs attention 24/7! You can't expect him to be on the set and get along with everyone!" I argued. It was impossible. He's going to spend half the time sleeping and half the time fussing, and Thomas doesn't sleep anywhere.

"Katy, let it go" Finally, Rob spoke up.

"No! We have to find a way coz I refuse to pair you two with other people! It's always Rob and Kristen for me!" She insisted, with a slap of her palm on the portfolio for emphasis.

"God Katy!" I exclaimed.

"Please just a week. It's very important to me." Katy said. "Besides, i'll be the one who's gonna put you back together on screen, I'm claiming it." She preened.

I glanced at Rob who looked to me just in time. Like a little thunder bolt, the hair on my skin stood up and my nerves were like wildfire, lighting up every corner of my skin.

Shit. I can't survive a week with him.