Collide : A Robsten Fanfiction

Chapter 32 : Just Friends

"This looks nice" Kristen said as we walked in the new Italian restautant.

"Smells nice too" I added.

There was only a couple of people seated and it looks like a quiet uninterested group. We have talked about the possibility of media speculation on our way to this lunch, but Katy's assistant assured us it was a completely discreet establishment.

We were both hungry so we didn't bother question his decisions anymore.

The maitre'd seated us at a corner secluded spot with a view of a garden.  We were already hidden from view of the other customers.

Silence permeated the place, except for the lilting music on the background.

We ordered our food then settled in to wait.

Now comes the awkward part.

"So...isn't this something? Dinner, Breakfast the other day...and now Lunch." I joked.

I shouldn't have. She didn't look like she would want to hear one now.

"Rob..." She started.

I cringed. My name sounds wonderful on her lips but the tone wasn't set for pleasantry.

"Yeah?" I continued.

"I know how silly this is going to sound. I just really want to apologize for Katy's sudden interest in our...our..." She stammered.

I don't understand why she was apologizing for Katy.  It's not as if she put her through it.  She didn't even seem like she wanted to do this project at all.

"It's just that I feel it all started because of something I said to her, or accidentally shared and shouldn't have." She looked like she was doubting the wisdom of actually starting this conversation already.

"You don't have to explain anything...I'm actually glad she dragged me here to do it." I smiled.

The sudden relief I saw in her face pleased me.  She can't be this stress all the time. It's gonna take a toll on her again, and I know all about how that happened before to her.

"I'm just sorry Rob. You were already probably enjoying your life....then I go mess it up again." She sighed. She couldn't even look me in the eyes as she said that.

Mess it up? Does this woman know she was my life? That everything that happens to me revolves around her? That even if no matter how I try to move on and stay away I still gravitate to her?

I wiped the disbelief on my face before she can see it. How do I put this lightly without scaring her? We've been through this before. We have said our goodbyes, we both understood how it'll be difficult to get over us when we still insist on our impossible friendship.

"Kristen....last January....whatever we talked about...." I started.

I didn't get to finish the sentence though coz suddenly we were already being served.

I have spent a year thinking about that conversation. It changed my life and I thought I'll never ever gonna see or hear from her again coz we finally decided to seal anything that was us. I've been through hell and back thinking of a way to retract everything I said and did. I thought I'd be able to stand firm on that decison and live with it.

I never realized how wrong I was. I had the inkling feeling, although it was never more clear now that I'm in her presence.

I never thought I'll ever find the chance again. Now that she's here in front of me, I realized how grateful I was for this opportunity that Katy stubbornly forced on us.

I wonder if we'll ever get around to talking about it though. It's only been a couple of days but it seems so complicated already.

I tightened my resolve. I'll find a way. Even if we just had to be friends again.

Kristen smiled at me.

"Don't worry....we'll find some way to talk." She said as if she read my mind.

I smiled back, hope settling in both of us that whatever little thing that's left between the two of us, it could probably be salvaged.