The Consequences {Jacob Black}

Chapter CXXXVIII

I bit down on my lip and cocked my head like I was examining the steak I was about to put in the over. I was actually thinking about Rebecca. I didn't have a relationship with my own sister. And I was great friends with Leah and Emily and Kim, but they weren't like my sisters. Rebecca could be; I just had to figure out who to tell her that I was sorry for all the pain that I had caused. I repositioned my lip in my mouth, coming up from my bent position to think about what kind of vegetables we should have with dinner.

Warm arms wrapped around my waist and hauled me away from the stove. The face that I dreamt about dropped down to my neck and pressed a gentle kiss to the fresh mark there. "You were thinking awfully hard," he muttered.

"So you came as a distraction?" I laughed breathlessly.

"How am I doing?" he replied. I chuckled again, leaning back into him. I wrapped my arms over his and angled my neck to give him more access. His tongue slicked over the scabbed over wound like he always did whenever he reopened the wound. "If you hadn't been there, I probably would have killed him," he murmured, his lips feathering my skin. "I should have killed him."

"He wasn't worth your time, Jake," I whispered. "And he isn't worth any of Rebecca's pain." Jake snorted, puffing hot air over my sensitive flesh. I trembled. The things this boy could do to me, I swear it...

Jake let go of me with a deep grumble and some angry mutterings about privacy and moving out, jumping up onto the counter and locking his hands underneath his legs. I laughed as I watched him pout before I turned my attention back to dinner. But when I swiveled around, I was met with the dark eyes of Rebecca Black. I flinched a little when I looked at her, but she didn't look at all angry with me. In fact, the mean look that I associated with her wasn't there at all. "Hi," she whispered. I couldn't bring myself to say it back. I just nodded, feeling like a bitch and more than a little rude. "I was hoping that we could talk."

Everything in my brain told me to tell her no; to tell her that she'd hurt me, that she'd done everything and anything she could to inflict the most pain. And then my head nodded of its own accord. Rebecca looked over at Jake and jerked her head to the living room. "Just because I said that I thought that she would be willing to talk to you doesn't mean that I'm leaving you in here alone with her," Jake said. "You've been known to be a little vicious."

Rebecca blushed a little and bit her lip. But she nodded in understanding and, I think, acceptance. "I was hoping that you and I could talk about a few things, Ryanne. We have some things that I would like to clear up between you and me." Oh great, just what I needed. She was going to talk to me about how everything was my fault. Because I didn't know that already. I looked away from her and back at the green beans that were sitting on the counter. Might as well multitask while she was talking; anything to take my mind off of the words that were going to come out of her mind.

I began silently snapping the ends off of the beans and tossing the ends into the trash by my legs. Rebecca cleared her throat a few times, but I refused to look up at her. I'm sure she looked to Jake to find out if I was going to look at her or if she should just continue. Amazing how much we all relied on the man on the counter. Finally, she sucked in a deep breath and began, "I have a lot of things that I need to apologize for and even more that I need to make clear to you." I still wouldn't look at her. "I'm sorry that I have been so cruel to you," she muttered. My hands stopped.

Was she really saying sorry? Had she finally come to realization that I wasn't her enemy but her friend? Did you now understand that I had never intended for her mother to die. "I was hurting; my mother had just been killed and my father bound to a wheelchair for the rest of his life. I was angry and I didn't know who to take that out on. I couldn't blame my father, I didn't want to blame my mother. Rachel — — she wouldn't let me blame her. The only person that I had left to blame was you, Ryanne." I swallowed hard, looking down at the snapped ends in the trashcan. "The first time that I said it to you," she began. I swallowed hard, not wanting to remember it. I didn't want to think back on the pain. "I thought that you would be just like the others and you would tell me to back off. But you didn't. You nodded and agreed with me. You let me make you cry. And as mean and cruel and perverse as it is, it felt good to make someone else cry and hurt, to make someone else feel as much pain as I did."

I wanted to turn around and slap her across the face. Didn't she think that I felt pain? "When I first blamed you, I didn't mean it. It was something that I said because I wanted someone to pin it all on. You were just an easy target. You weren't technically family; at least, that's what I told myself. I told myself that you didn't lose your mother and you deserved to get some blame. The more that I repeated it, though, the more that I started to believe it myself. By the time that I realized that you were actually believing me all these years, I had slapped you and you had walked out of the door." I swallowed again, trying to get the emotions out of my throat. I had said such hateful things to her.

I turned away from the counter and moved towards the stove to start steaming the beans. Rebecca quickly moved her way out of my face so that I could continue cooking. "When you told me that I had disappointed my mother, I hated you more than I ever had." I flinched; I guess I'd deserved that one. "But then my father agreed with you and I — — I couldn't argue with it. My mom raised you like you were her third daughter. And before she died, you were like another sister. I don't why I decided that change that relationship; that was wrong of me. You were such a big part of our family; I should have thought about how much you were hurting from this too."

I finally decided to look over at her and noticed that there were tears streaming down her cheeks. "I'm so very sorry, Ryanne," she whispered. I sighed then.

What was I was supposed to do here? By her own admission, she'd been out to hurt me. Why should I forgive her? Even as the mean thoughts ran through my head, I could hear Sarah's voice in my head. Bitterness is an acid that eats at your heart and gnaws on your soul until there is nothing left in you. It taints your mind and blurs your thoughts. Sarah would want me and Rebecca to find reconciliation, to find the common ground again. I started the beans and made sure that their lid was safely on the pot and then turned to Becca.

I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her tight to me. She was a few inches shorter than me, but neither of us were short girls by any stretch of the imagination. I could feel her hot tears on my bare shoulders, but I just kept holding her. "I forgive you, Rebecca. It's okay," I whispered. I pressed my hand to her hair and pressed her deeper into my shoulders.

Out of the corner of my eye I could see Jake smiling at me with his own watery eyes. This is what he had always wanted. Him and Billy. They had always wanted to get to have their entire family back together again. Rachel had always stuck by her sister, who despised me with a passion. That's why they both left. But now that Rebecca and I had talked, we could get back on track and Rachel would come around again. Billy could have his family again. I lifted the hand on Becca's back and crooked it at Jake.

He jumped down willingly enough and wrapped his broad frame around the both of us, holding us tight to his chest. "I love you," he whispered to Rebecca. "Mom would be proud." The simple sentence brought on a whole new torrent of tears. He just let her sob while he looked down at me. "You're amazing," he muttered again. I blushed and made a move to duck my head but he caught my mouth in a sweet, tender kiss. "I love you, Rye. Thank you for bringing my family back together again," he whispered.

I did hide my face then. The words were full of love and a million other emotions that I couldn't name at the moment because inside, I was jumping for joy. I did it, Sarah. I finally did it!