Chapter 45

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Hey guys :) so lately I havent really been myself...I've been updating late, constanly upset over little things and everything is just a mess really. To top it off, school started and idk what to do.Apparently I have been lowered into ordinary level for English...which is my favourite subject with my favourite teacher. That really upset me and now I'm thinking of finishing this and just giving up all together on writing since its obvious I'm not good enough..So yeah, I still dont know about it, I'm sorry guys :(

*crying at the gif omg it's so clear that niall is staring at Liam's lips like he's trying to hint to him to kiss him omg <3 <3*

Niall's P.O.V

I hold onto Liam's hand tighter as we make our way back to my house. I'm so pathetic crying here, I'm supposed to be the older one in this relationship. Liam has been so strong lately and caring to help me with my problems along with his own. He's amazing and I'm just so lucky to have him right now. I know deep down I wouldn't of been able to do any of this right now if it wasn't for Liam by my side. I surely would've given up, sooner or later.

I still can't believe Greg killed our dad. His own blood. I suppose though he only did it to protect wee Theo, I know I would've been way more upset if Theo had gotten seriously injured by Bobby. Speaking of him, I turn to Liam. "Is it alright if we visit Denise and Theo in a while? You know just to see how she's coping" I say, smiling sadly at Liam. He nods, giving me a little smile before kissing my left cheek. "Anything you want babe" he says, tightening his hand which is intertwined with mine.

I fish my keys out of my back pocket before putting them in the door. My hand's shake too much for me to unlock the door so Liam quickly steps in and unlocks it for me. I smile at him thankfully before stepping in behind him. I close the door behind me and slip my shoes off. Liam comes over and pecks my lips before unbuttoning my coat for me. "I really would be lost without you, Liam" I say looking into his eyes. He smiles at me before looking at the ground, gulping. I hold his chin up with my finger and look at him again, this time with concern. A single tear roll's down his face and I scrunch my eyebrows. "What's wrong Liam?" I ask him, getting worried. Did I say or do something to hurt him?

He shakes his head at me and lets out a small laugh before looking up at me again. "You said you would be lost without me but you dont know where I'd be without you. Niall...There is something I should tell you" Liam says, biting his lip. What does he mean? "Okay?" I say but comes out more like a question. "I'll go make us tea first and then we'll talk okay?" He asks and I nod. He gives me a quick peck on my lips before going into the kitchen. I stumble into the sitting room, dropping onto the couch. Will things always be this rough for me and Liam? Because if they are, I dont know if we could do it.

We've already been through so much together so how long will it take before one of us gets hurt? I can't let Liam be the one to get hurt. He's already been too hurt in the past and I don't think I can handle it if I'm the one hurting him. No. That is something I would never do. It's Liam, I love him. One things sure, that when problems arise between us, I will always try to solve them. I can't lose Liam. I can't imagine my future without Liam in it. No way. And another thing I know for sure, I will never and I mean never become the monster my dad had become because well look where that left him...

My thoughts are interrupted by Liam who puts a cup in front of me, smiling. He sits down beside me, putting his hand on my knee. I look from his hand to his face which has a sad smile on it. "Do you remember the day we met Niall?" He asks me. I nod slowly at him, confused. Of course I remember, it was one of the best days of my life. I remember being completely lost and then Liam being the nice man he is, helping me. I remember how I first felt, I remember fighting with myself because I couldnt like him, he was a student. Those were tough days but I'm glad I ignored all those stupid thoughts now.

"Yeah, well that exact day I had plans. As you know, things were bad at home. I had been getting a lot of hits and even got a concussion from my dad and Zayn. I was getting about 10 beatings a day and there was only so much I could take. I just wanted it all to end and they day I met you...that was also supposed to be the same day I took my last breath....but you changed that, Niall. You saved my life and you didnt even know it" Liam says, tears falling from his eyes. I stare in shock. Liam was actuallly going to end his life? I never would've met him then, I never would've found him, I wouldn't have my baby Liam.

At the thought of the one I love in a coffin, six feet under the ground, I burst out in tears and grab onto Liam desparetly. Just to prove my mind wrong and get the image out of my mind. Liam is here, Liam has survived his suicide date, he is here and he is stronger than before. I pull away and look into Liam's brown eyes, the same eyes that used to have pain written across them. You can still see the pain in his eyes but something better is noticeable. Love. I see love anytime I look into Liam's eyes and it just makes me fall more and more for him everyday. I'm so grateful to be the one he looks at with love.

I use my thumbs to wipe his tears from his cheeks. "Liam, just know that I love you so much baby and I'm so glad to be the one to call you mine. You are such an amazing, strong man and I don't want anyone else in this world but you. It's you and only you Liam so you got to promise you will never, ever even think of anything like that? Okay? I know its been hard babe but I'm here now and I'm promising you now, I will be here for you at any time okay? You don't have to go through this alone Liam, just please don't hurt yourself babe, it hurts me so much when I see you hurt yourself. I love you so much baby, I really do. "I say, whispering the last bit before connecting his lips with mine.

They taste salty from his tears but I dont mind. I move them slowly, putting my everything into the kiss. Liam kisses back just like me and I smile during the kiss. I pull away from him, resting my forehead on his with my eyes closed. When I open them, they met Liam's eyes. I peck his lips quickly before pulling my forehead away.

"I love you, just remember that okay?"

"How could I ever forget when I can see for my own eyes? I'm glad I didnt kill myself. I know even the angels in heaven wouldn't look as beautifuil as you do right now."

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