Chapter 65

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Just know this is one hell of an emotional chapter so I highly suggest tissues by your side! Thank you guys so much for everything and you's are so amazing like seriously! I love you! :) xx

Niall's P.O.V

I stare at Liam for a minute in shock. I wasn't really expecting him to say that. I quickly snap out of it though and hug him tightly. "Ssh Li, it's alright. Of course we can go see Ruth baby" I whisper into his ear, rubbing his back softly. I hear Liam sniff and I pull away and rest my hands on his cheeks. I use my thumbs to dry the tears that fall from his beautiful brown eyes. "I have no problem going with you baby but are you sure you want too?" I ask, afraid Liam will have a mental breakdown visiting his little sister's grave.

He nods slowly before managing a small smile. I smile back at him, my hands still on his cheeks and peck his lips slowly. "I'll be alright as long as I have you by my side" he says, hugging me close to him, snuggling his head into the crook of my neck. I hold him tightly, swaying us both softly. He pulls away after a minute and takes a deep breath. "Are you ready baby?" I ask and he nods, intertwining his hand into mine. I smile at him and kiss his hand before we walk out to the car. "Can we stop at a shop on the way? I need to get flowers for her. She always loved flowers" Liam says, smiling sadly. I wonder what memories are going through his mind right now. It's so clear that he adored Ruth with all his heart and I really don't understand how he blames himself for her death.

I nod at him and pull in at a shop. Liam pecks my lips quickly before hopping out and going into the shop. Little does he know, I'm smiling at him from behind. How is he doing this? I mean it takes such courage to do what he does. He's been through the hardest things in life and yet he still manages to keep a brave smile on his face, I mean if that doesn't show strength, I don't know strength then. He's been through twice the amount of pain than any other person including myself and he's still here. If I was in his position right now, I wouldn't of been able to cope with all that. The car crash, death of his little sister, unloved parents, abusive parents, cutting, the abuse at school he also got, the fire, abuse from my dad, us getting caught. I mean it's crazy the amount of shit he had to put up with. I really respect him for all that.

I snap out of my daydream when the door opens and I give Liam a confused look when I see not only one bunch of flowers but three. "Uhm not in any bad way but why so much flowers?" I ask, hoping I don't hit a sensitive key asking that. I really don't want to see Liam having a breakdown here and now. It would possible hurt me more than him if he did. "I couldn't decide which one's to get for Ruth because their all beautiful but I went with her favourites which are red roses and she also loved daisies and the white roses(can you actually buy that?) are for  someone else's grave which we need to visit" he says and smiles at me. I nod my head and I am certain on who the white one's are for. Harry.

"Let's go then" I say and start up the car again. It takes a good 20 minutes for us to get there but when we stop, I turn to Liam, only to see his head down and tears streaming down his face. "No baby, it's alright. If you don't want too, it's okay. I understand completely and we can always do this some other time if your not ready yet" I say, leaning over and hugging him. Thankfully, he put the flowers standing on the ground beside his feet. He shakes his head quickly and wipes his face. " No, I've put this off for 10 years now, my little girl deserves to see that her older brother still cares for her and loves her with his whole heart." Liam says and yet again I feel a sense of bravery run through me. How does he do it?

I smile at him before connecting my lips to his in a passionate kiss. When we pull away, he looks at me confused. "What was that for?" he asks, staring at me. "It was for being so brave all these years baby,
I don't know how you did it all, I love you so much Liam" I say and slide over onto his lap, burying my face into his neck. I plant small kisses on his neck and I hear him giggle. "Okay let's go before it gets dark Ni, I sure don't want to be in this place in the dark. Creepy." Liam says, shivering. I laugh at him before nodding and getting off his lap. I get out and open the door for him and he smiles gratefully at me. "Thanks babe" he says, pecking my cheek. I smile at him before taking one out of the three flowers. "Who do you want to visit first?" I ask, intertwining my free hand with his. "Harry's. I want to spend the most time with Ruth I can" he says, letting out a deep breath. I can't believe he's doing this after 10 whole years. "I think I know where it is" I say, walking over to the left. Liam follows and I squeeze his hand lightly. We walk up the little pathway beside the graves and I look over the names. I find Harry's near the top and I bite my lip when we stand in front of it. An image of him hanging from the tree flashes through my head and I try my hardest to erase it from my memory.

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