A Furious Chick

Anger

Katherine

"Brooke likes Brian to hold her when she's going to sleep. She's the daddy's girl of the trio. Very sweet, actually." Alina told me as we walked downstairs to the kitchen after placing the triplets in their beds.

"It's like you're their mom." I gave a fake smile.

"I'm their second mother." Alina nodded as if she had any sort of rights. I narrowed my eyes. "I met you when you were pregnant, Katherine. Was with you when you gave birth, helped you raise-"

"Okay. Stop." I hit the kitchen counter. "I get it. You don't have children of your own. You have helped out quite a lot apparently but they are not your children. They're mine. Okay? And I don't remember what they like or how they sleep or how they like their sandwiches cut up so can you please stop playing mommy dearest to my little girls and stop telling me who they are and let me unscramble this portion of my life?"

Alina looked shocked. "I thought I was helping."

"No. You're not helping. You're rubbing it in my face that I know nothing about three little girls that I birth. You're constantly reminding me that I deserve mother of the year award because I bailed on them! So just fucking stop, Alina! I am their mom and I have absolutely no connection to them."

Alina's face softened. "Katherine, you didn't bail on your daughters. You actually are a person they should look up to. You sacrificed yourself to save your team and didn't think of your own safety. And yes, you did not bond with them over that time but everyday, we showed them videos and pictures of you to let them know you are still their mommy. Little Ruby would reach her arms up at pictures of you, Quinn would cry every time she laid on your side of the bed. Brooke would put on your heels and walk around and say mama because they missed you. You're their mother and a bond between a mother and child is one that will never go away. Just have patience."

I pushed my hair behind my face. "I am losing my fucking mind. I get these little glimpses of my life and the moment I try to grasp on to one, it vanishes. And I feel horrible because the people around me need me to get better and I'm trying and it's not working. I'm pretty sure if Brian could, he would leave me and move on the way he did when I left to London."

I paused. Alina paused. The world paused.

"Honey, how do you know about that?" She gasped.

"I don't know." I whispered. "I just got really angry and it popped into my head."

"Why did you go to London?" She pried.

I thought long and hard for a moment, trying to sort through varies glimpses. I was concentrating so hard that I caught a headache, my brain feeling like it was swollen. And then it hit me like a fucking truck.

"Chase Michaels." I hit the table. "He had my mom. My mom. She was dead?! Or believed to be! And he had her!"

"He didn't have her." Brian came in suddenly with takeout. "He actually called you to inform you that someone has your mom and you worked with him for a year to rescue her. And then we showed up."

I frowned. "You moved on."

"I did. In a way, I did. Got a new girlfriend and all but I don't think I would've ended up having a future with her the way you and I do. I wasn't over you." He handed me the takeout. "I'm going to go shower."

He seemed stressed. I nodded slowly. He walked upstairs and I turned back to Alina.

"Being angry made me remember." I told her.

"Well, you're an angry person." Alina nodded.

"Who is that one person, that one fucker that fires me up for no reason?" I asked her, getting a shaky idea. It was in my head but forming it was difficult as hell.

"Brian, Letty, Kaleb...anyone really. Someone could blink too hard and you're just done." She shrugged.

"Alina." I hissed. "Narrow it down for me. Who do I absolutely cannot be around for too long without wanting to kill them."

"Honestly...Kaleb. And I believe it's because he can sometimes match your anger and combat skills and you don't like competition but you adore him completely." Alina shrugged. "You guys are just nuts."

"Where is Kaleb right now?"

"Home, I believe. I don't know if you remember but he's an alcoholic and around this time, he drinks tea to help the cravings. I bet he's watching a game."

I grabbed a pair of car keys and headed for the door.

"Where are you going?"

I paused and fixed my hair. "I'm about to go and get some anger."

-

Ok so right now I'm so angry because I went to sleep at 6:30 this morning and my best friend woke me up at 8:45 for no reason and im just drained and I just wanna go back to sleep but I can't. So good morning, if it is morning where you live. 🤘🏽

-Chicken fucking Soup 🍜