A Furious Chick

Another Fallen Howard

Mrs. Howard

"Honey, let them go outside for a little bit. The new neighbors have children around their age." I whispered to my husband as I prepared dinner. My children sat at the kitchen table, studying the different parts of a gun. Neither looked happy, neither looked away from the notes.

My husband placed a cigarette in his mouth and lit it. He took a long drag.

"My sweetest fruit, there is no such thing as little bit. They need to be focused. Once they get that there is foolery such as fun in this world, they won't help save the world." He informed me.

"They'll grow to hate us."

"Everyone hates their parents. For a moment. And they'll realize that we are the people that made them great."

"You think we're doing right by them?"

"I believe that our children will grow up one day and thank us. I truly do." He pushed my hair back. "We are passing down the torch." He checked his watch. "It's been four hours. I'll give them a break and then quiz. And then dinner time!"

I smiled softly, my eyes flickering to Kaleb and Katherine. Kaleb looked like he was on the verge of crying. Their father walked over to them and for the first time, they raised their little beaten up eyes and forced a smile as a greeting to their father.

-

"I wanted to give them a life. I did. But as a strong man and a strong leader, I knew their father had their best interest in heart. We only knew of what we were taught. There was no loopholes. Ever."

"Your children are heroes. They have you to thank."

"Or to blame. I never gave them a life."

"And with that, millions were saved."

I took a long gulp from the flask. Bourbon. My favorite.

"My daughter has a husband and beautiful children. And my son is getting his life together. Regardless of any choices they've made, I am incredibly proud of both. I hope they could forgive me."

I finished my drink.

"Did you rally up all the paperwork on the Chinese base and the injections?"

Maggie stepped forward with the briefcase. I took the syringes and held them over the edge of the cliff, pressing down until they were completely emptied.

"And what of my connections to your children?"

"As my youngest child, my deepest regrets go to you. Because giving you to people of the British Base was my darkest hour."

"Playing the role of a sixteen year old when I'm actually two years younger than my siblings. Making a lie about Chase Michaels."

"He's dead. He can't speak on truth."

"I missed out on being Katherine Howard's sister. Missed out on protection and wisdom and siblings. I never had someone fight for me the way the twins would."

"So you fight for yourself. You owe it to yourself." I placed a hand on her shoulder before grabbing the entire briefcase and chucking it over the edge. "But just know that you're a Howard. And Howard's are nothing but fists and fury."

She smiled softly. I gave her a slight nod and she hugged me tightly.

"Make sure I don't see you in the depths of hell anytime soon, dear."

Maggie nodded her head and sniffled.

I pulled away from her and took a leap of joy over the edge of the cliff.

-

As a warrior, I was perfect. Flawless. The Beyoncé of the battle field. As a wife, I was strong and happy and I made my husband feel secured. As a mother, I failed. I didn't tuck my children in. I didn't put bandaids on their scrapes. Instead I made them get ready for bed themselves, read a dictionary as a bedtime story and poured lemon juice on their scrapes so they wouldn't cry about such a small pain when there's pretty much bigger ones. And the one child that should've got different, we gave away to an organization as a way of peace. I can fight a good fight, cook a good meal but I can't be a solid for a child. And that was the wound on my heart.

-

"HOW!"

The words emerged throughout the darkness, echoing and getting louder. I was confused, in a state of pain. Simple pain. Paralyzed and pain. The only feelings I have been granted.

"MY DEAREST LOLLIPOP."

And I didn't fight. I didn't struggle against death. I let it in. I wanted it. Craved for it.

"Come on, Howie. We're watching Katherine and Kaleb take their first steps!" Nobody yelled at me.

"My dearest love, hurry!" My husband echoed behind him. "WE'RE DOING THINGS RIGHT THIS TIME!"