L U X E

Chapter 44

Posted 8 hours ago 

LuxeLopez: What's your favourite line in #Sultry?

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The whole day I've been doing different interviews for the promotion of my album and cosmetics line. Yesterday was a day filled with radio interviews and today is the live interviews. I've been on Good Morning America, Kelly and Ryan along with the Wendy Williams show. I've performed on a few of my songs for them and now I have just gotten to The Real.

My mom is with me which I really appreciate since I am performing Love Like This and Love Dies. I've decided to do a brief interview but I know that they want to mention Michael but I will keep that short.

"Please welcome to The Real for the very first time, Luxury and Jennifer Lopez." The audience begin screaming like crazy as we walk out. We blow the fans kisses before hugging each of the hosts.

"Can I just start off by saying that both of you are literally my idols." Adrienne speaks once we have sat down. "You both are the mother and daughter duo that we never knew that we needed."

"Yes, we need an album." Jeannie chimes and I fake a laugh.

"Let me just promote this one first then we will consider that." I state and my mom laughs while patting my knee.

"So, we heard that you produced Luxury's album." Tamera states and we nod in confirmation. "What was that like?"

"It's definitely different due to the fact that we were born in two different eras and time has changed." The ladies of the Real nod their head as my mom speaks. "This is Luxury's album, not mine so I really had to know my place because she definitely had her vision. I did not think that she should cast her ex in her music videos but she disagreed."

I look at her with a sad smile and she puts her arm over my shoulder.

"Listening to her was a blessing and a curse. They weren't together throughout the shooting of the album which caused issues during production but it was something that Luxe had to do. Also people loved the idea of her having that one lead male throughout her music because it created the story." I look away for a moment. "I'm always there for my daughter throughout every step, no matter what."

"She's also one of my managers because she genuinely wants what is best for me." I add with a tight smile.

"The album is amazing, we loved every second of it." Loni says and I smile up at her.

"Thank you so much." I bow my head slightly.

"What was the process like for you? From recording to filming the album." She asks and I think for a moment.

"It..." I put my hand over my mom's leg and she places her hand over mine. "It was hard. I was going through a lot when I was recording the album, something had happened prior to recording and it hit me hard. There was so much that I wanted to say but I couldn't, not because I was not allowed but because I knew the backlash that would be received. I ha-had to... I had to end what I had because it has mentally, physically and emotionally drained me." 

"Now what do you mean by that?" My hand goes to my neck once Loni interrupts me.

There's a moment of silence in the studio as a few tears spill down my face.

"Take your time." Loni adds as my mom squeezes my knee. Loni passes me some tissues which I gratefully take but I am so mad at myself. I didn't think that I would cry today, I really didn't.

"I really don't want to say." I whisper. "It's been so much up until now. I can't be with anyone now, I just need to be by myself. Filming the album made everything real and I am done with that chapter."

"Up until now, is that including Michael b Jordan?" My eyes widen when Loni points that out.

"It's just been a lot, I think that Luxe will speak on everything when she feels ready to. In the life that we live, our privacy is everything so she definitely needs this time for herself." My mom states through slit eyes and a reassuring smile towards me. "I am so proud of how far she has come and I want you all to check out her album."

"There's beauty in vulnerability." Adrienne says while leaning forward in understanding.

"There really is." My mom voice turns soft. "Luxe is also doing amazing with her cosmetics line Glam Dia is definitely my favourite collection of hers, she brang me back into my days and there is a huge selection."

They realise that I am really upset so they decide to cut to break, my mom walks me off stage before speaking with me for a few minutes. Tamera and Adrienne come to check up on me, in my crying state as I recount the last few days. 

A producer informs them that it is time to go back on stage so my mom goes back with them to have an interview on her latest projects while I prep for my performance. I head into the dressing room to fix my makeup before pulling my hair up into a high ponytail.

Once I finish I take a few deep breaths before declaring myself ready.

"We all love and appreciate her for her honesty. She's always helping people without the need to tell the whole world and she's Hollywood's sweetheart." I smile at Tamera's words. "She's a businesswoman and a style icon. It's Luxury Lopez."

The audience clap as the curtains are pulled back.

"Have you ever seen

A Love Like This.." I keep my voice leveled as I sing the song as I do in the track, in this moment I am thinking about Michael. I'm definitely hurt but mostly surprised by how the relationship turned out. By the time I hit the bridge I end up changing the lyrics to fit how I'm feeling since I haven't been able to speak with him.

I am communicating with him through my song.

"A Love like This

Oh, a Love Like This 

How could you hurt me so bad?

Hurt me 

So much 

I gave you all of me in a Love Like This...

MICHAEL..." I belt out his name while holding the note then changing the note before letting my voice break.

The instrumental places in the background as I rest my head on top of the microphone, letting out a sniffle here and there. I'm not oblivious to the fact that it can be heard but I pull it together for the final chorus, giving it my all.