AN: hey guys, i'm back. just letting y'all know i'm doing a writing challenge this month and if you'd like to go check it out that'd be cool, if you don't want to, that's cool too. anyways, i wrote this a couple months ago(it's still published) but i wanna write it again so here's the re-write for morphed image.
TW: eating disorder, negative self image, self deprivation, starvation. please don't read if this'll trigger you. stay safe y'all
Remy's POV(i know, shocking)
My alarm clock blares the same monotonous note it does every morning, calling me to get out of bed and start the day. Even though I just fell asleep. I roll over under my thick comforter and stretch my hand towards my nightstand, lazily searching for the dang machine. I finally find it and press the one button I have memorized by heart, the snooze button. The noise thankfully stops, so I pull my goosbump covered arm back under the blankets before opening my heavy eyelids. The white of my roof is the same as every other day. The sound of light rain on my window however, is new. There's a knock at my door, but I can't seem to find the energy to talk so I just let out a long groan. "Is it okay if I come in Remy?" I force myself up, exposing my arms once again to the freezing air in my bedroom and shiver.
"Yeah. Come on in Dad." The door creaks open as I pull the blankets off of my legs and push myself out of bed with a long sigh. My blood rushes to my head, but I'm used to it.
"Hey kid. Love the bedhead," my dad, Sloane, jokes as he sits down on the rolly desk chair I have.
"Thanks." I force a smile as I walk over to my vanity and pick up a pair of round glasses. I slip them on my face and the world becomes clear again, the double vision becoming singular again.
"I'm just letting you know Corbin made pancakes this morning and we're wanting to eat as a family since us two are gonna be gone over the weekend." I tilt my head in confusion and sit on my bed again.
"Where are you two going?"
"It's our anniversary, remember?" I nod and smile again. I don't want them to be gone.
"Sorry, I totally forgot." Sloane smiles and stands up again.
"It's fine kiddo. You do remember you're going over to the Sanders' right?" Damn it. This complicates things.
"Yeah. I was just about to start packing." Sloane walks towards the door and nods his head. "Well hurry up so we can eat and then I'll drive ya to school okay?" I nod and he closes the door behind himself.
My smile instantly drops and I allow my shoulders to fall forward. I grab my head in my hands and sigh deeply. What am I going to do this weekend. Patton is famous for his big, filling meals and catching hints that no one else notices. I fall forward and stand on my shaky legs again. I walk into the bathroom connected to my bedroom and lock the door behind myself. I drag myself in front of the mirror and slowly lift my head, tears filling my eyes as I stare back at an ugly human. I raise my hand to my messy curls, and the reflection does the same. I take in a deep breath and bite back tears. and so does the reflection. I force myself to look away, the thoughts not stopping as I walk over to a scale tucked away behind the toilet. I place it on the ground and slowly step onto it. The scale takes a couple seconds to register my weight. But when it does, I feel a sick satisfaction in my chest for a second. But then, a sadness and numbness that can only be described as disappointing. 124.5 pounds. I feel hot tears fall down my cheeks and quickly leave the bathroom. I need to pack anyways. Without thinking I reach into my bag and grab three shirts, two pairs of pants and a duffel bag.
How does Virgil even like you?
I shake my head and shove the clothes into the bag in a messy heap. I throw the bag on my bed and walk over to my dresser to grab underwear and socks as the thoughts keep coming.
He knows you're fat. How can he stand being around someone so BIG
I push back a sob and finish filling the duffel with a hair brush and toothbrush.
I mean, I'm sure he's just too nice to say anything.
"Remy! You almost done kiddo?" I pull the bag over my shoulder and head back into my bathroom, hastily covering my tear stained cheeks with a pale foundation. "Rem!" I rush out and turn off the lights in the room grabbing my school bag on the way out.
"Sorry. I just couldn't find my bag."
"You're still in your PJ's Rem," Corbin points out as he sits down at the table and starts dishing up some pancakes.
"Oh..r-right."
"Are you okay kid?" I look over at Sloane and nod my head, even though my breath is hitching in my throat and my stomach is already rejecting the pancakes I haven't had. I'm gonna throw up. I can't do this.
"I'm good. Just a bit nervous. I have a presentation today." Corbin hums in understanding and places the plate in my spot at the table.
"Well go get dressed and we'll wait for you ok?" I nod and place my two bags on the floor before running back upstairs and looking through my closet. I end up choosing a normal burgundy tee and black skinny jeans with my black converse. I do one last look in the mirror and groan disgustedly.
You know, it wouldn't be that bad if you were just fat. But the fact that you're ugly too just makes it so much worse.
I run my hand through my curly hair, wishing it was short and straight. Pinch my exposed arm, wishing it was thinner. Turn myself to the side and examine my torso, wishing it was flatter.
You need to go. You're gonna be late.
I grab a sweater from my bed before going downstairs again. Once again, the smell and thought of pancakes nauseates me, and it takes everything in me to not go to the bathroom.
"Lookin snazzy," Sloane jokes as he places a jug of orange juice in the middle of the table. "Ready to feast?" I might actually barf. I can't do this.
"I know you guys are going away for the weekend, but I need to get to the school early for a test," I lie as I collect my bags from the floor. "Is it ok if I take the Jeep?"
"Kid, we wanted to hang out." I sigh and sit down at the table, quickly taking Sloane's hand.
"I want to hang out too. What if I FaceTime you guys after school?" Sloane shoots a sad look at Corbin, but Corbin is smiling.
"I for one think it's great that you're stretching yourself academically Rem. You have so much potential you don't use-"
I doubt that
"And I'm glad you're taking responsibility. We'll call you as soon as we can. Now go be smart." I smirk back and stand up again. Pressing a kiss to Sloane's forehead and then hugging Corbin.
"Thanks for understanding."
You don't understand at all
AN: there will be a part two(for real this time) so be on the lookout for that. once again y'all are so special and beautiful/handsome and if any of you are struggling reach out. i'm here if you need me and so are your friends. bye
-Talented_trash
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