Adoption Au: Sanders Sides

The Past - Part 2

TW: mentions of mentally/emotionally abusive behavior. i don't know if this is even considered abusive, but i'll still warn y'all anyways

Roman squeezed Emile's hand one more time and offered a brave smile. "Whenever you're ready."

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"For a while, I was dating a girl named Lynn. We were together for, I think about a year." Patton leaned back in his chair and quickly scribbled a couple of notes. "I..I didn't realize it at first, but, it wasn't a healthy relationship. I just figured that that was how it worked. One person always has more dominance than the other," Emile's voice wobbled and filled the room with tensity. He sighed and placed his head in his hands, no longer holding Roman's, but holding back his tears.

"It's okay Emile," Patton coaxed as he gave Roman a quick, reassuring smile. "Take your time." Roman looked over at his boyfriend and wanted more than anything to go back to playing pool. Laughing, smiling and kissing. Being happy.

"Well, a couple weeks in, Lynn told me that she was expecting me to start giving more."

"More?" He nodded and finally lifted his head from his hands with a small sniffle.

"Yeah. More time. More affection. More attention. The relationship was new and exciting still, I just didn't understand why she was taking everything so seriously so quickly."

"So, what did you do Emile?" Emile looked over at Roman for some comfort but couldn't bring himself to make eye contact.

"I..I quit my job. I quit dance. We started getting more physical. She would sit on my lap and make me kiss her when I didn't want to and even though it never went far, I still wasn't comfortable." Patton nodded understandingly and looked over at Emile with a sad sigh.

"Already doesn't sound healthy Emile. Especially since it had only been a couple of weeks."

"Y-Yeah. Then a month had passed and she started getting, angry and territorial. Like, if I would hang out with friends instead of her, she'd yell at me and ask me why I didn't love her anymore. And it was all so fast and confusing that I felt like I wasn't even myself for a while. I was just part of her game." Roman couldn't take this. He couldn't stand hearing his boyfriend in this much pain. And he couldn't help but remember the many months when Emile stopped hanging out with him.

"She hid you away from us," he unknowingly whispered as he held onto Emile's hand.

"Yeah, and now, even though I love Roman. I can't kiss him without worrying that...that he'll want more from me. Or want to, hurt me," Emile declared, ashamed and scared of how the others would react to what he said. Roman simply stood up and started pacing slowly. "R-Ro I'm sorry, i-i don't want to-to think like-"

"Why didn't you tell me while you were still with her? I would've helped," Roman questioned, voice laced with concern and understanding. "I could've told someone or talked you out of it." Emile also stood up and grabbed Roman's hand.

"Roman, are you mad at me?"

"No, I'm mad at her."

"Kiddo, I understand you're frustrated. But anger is not the solution right now. We all need to calm down so that we can continue talking okay?" Both of the boys nodded and plopped down on the couch together, holding hands this time. "Alrighty. So you fear intimacy?" Emile shrugged and looked down at their intertwined fingers.

"I don't want to, but yeah...I-I'd say I do to a certain extent." Patton folded his legs and brought them up to his chest, it didn't look comfy to either of the boys on the couch.

"Could you elaborate to a certain extent for me Emile?"

"I'm not scared of emotional intimacy." Patton hummed and took a note.

"It's good that you can tell there's a difference between emotional and physical intimacy. But could you explain why you're not scared emotionally while you are still scared physically?"

"Because I wasn't emotionally intimate with her. I never loved her. I liked her at the beginning and then at the end I was scared of her."

"Alright, then this is a lot easier than if you were emotionally scared, not saying this isn't hard. But," Patton clearly struggled for the words to fix what he said, but stopped when he heard the two boys giggling.

"We know what you mean Dad. You can keep going." Patton sighed in relief and chuckled.

"Okay, so there are some steps we can take here. You can continue to talk to me regularly, in a more professional way if you'd like to and we could dig a bit deeper and try to find some pain that may be a main factor." Emile did not like that sound of that option and a chill went up his spine. "I know that's not easy, and it's not fun or you'd just rather try to forget. But talking about it really does help." Emile nodded and smiled when Roman gently squeezed his hand, giving him emotional strength.

"Alright."

"The second thing is you need to give yourself some time. If you think you're not ready for something or something makes you uncomfortable you need to speak up." Seeing the fear on Emile's face, Patton continued, but softer this time. "Roman isn't going to be upset or push you into anything because unlike Lynn he respects and loves you."

"Babe, I'd rather you speak up then accidentally make you uncomfortable or sad." Emile nodded again, feeling better and more confident already.

"Another option is talking to yourself in reassuring ways. Instead of telling yourself you're weak because of this, try telling yourself that you're strong for realizing there was a problem and being willing to fix it." Roman smiled and gave Emile's hand one more squeeze.

"I love you Emile."

"I..I love you too Roman."

AN: this isn't what an actual therapy session would be like so don't hate on any inaccuracy please, but if you have constructive criticism or and story suggestions feel free to tell me in the comments. stay safe and have an amazing day/night/early morning(if it's early morning, go to sleep..take care of yourself please). everyone of you is amazing

-Talented_trash