Learning To Fly

Please Forgive Me.

I’m sat waiting in Jaime’s apartment, waiting for her to get home from work. I just want to get this over and done with. I can’t believe I’m about to do this to us. I swore I’d protect her at all cost even if it means breaking both of our hearts.

I hear her car pull up and she must see mine because she flies in the door and practically runs in and leaps on me on the couch “Hmm baby, this is a good surprise. Great idea a quickie before dinner tonight” she purrs in my ear before she's quickly up pulling her jeans off and man handling mine down my legs before I know what’s happening, Jaime crawls back over me, my treacherous fucking dick is as hard as rock and as I begin protesting, her mouth latches onto mine and she guides me inside her before beginning a fast paced rhythm on top of me. 
I have to stop this otherwise I’m going to make this whole ordeal worse for both of us but she’s relentless and she feels so fucking good and my head goes to war with my heart reasoning with me that if this is the last time we get to do this together then I should enjoy it.

Jaime comes loudly a moment later and I follow, holding her close to me for possibly the last time while we both fight to slow our racing pulses, I'm desperately trying to hold onto this feeling.

Suddenly I have to get some distance from her as I feel the walls beginning too close in on me, pushing her leg over mine and get up and go to the bathroom, she lays back on the couch humming with pleasure.

I can’t do it, I can’t do this to her.

I start to panic and Kim’s vengeful face appears in my mind and then Jaime's ruined and humiliated face appears. This was a lose, lose situation for me but at least I could guarantee that Jaime wouldn’t lose her career, she’d get over me quickly enough although I feared I would never be the same again. “I love you so much Jaime, please forgive me” I whisper to myself in the mirror before finding the courage to go out and do this.

“I’m so excited to meet the girls tonight, I hope they like me” she talks quickly and excitedly as she pulls her jeans back on.

“Jaime, stop please I came here to talk to you” she spins around looking at me, her smile slowly disappearing as she looks at my face “Sit down Jaime and just let me speak please” she sits, patiently waiting for me to begin, she looks nervous.
“I need to stop this now, before it goes any further. I’ve been lying to you about how I feel and its making me feel bad now” I try to sound sincere and hope she doesn’t sense my lies, she giggles nervously  “Don’t be silly Marshall, what on earth are you talking about?”

“I don’t love you. I never did. I lied about that” my voice doesn’t alter but she shakes her head looking at me “No, no you haven’t, I love you and you love me. Don’t be scared baby” she  smiles, reaching for my hand and the pitch of her voice gets higher and strained. I pull away before she can touch me.

“Its time to for you to move on Jaime, I’ve had my fill of you and its time to move on to someone else” my tone gets firmer.
She clutches at the sides of her head, shaking it back and forth violently “No, why are you doing this, you love me baby, please stop this it’s not funny any more. You love me” I shake my head in response and sigh loudly “No I don’t Jaime” I don’t know how I’m keeping it together at this point.

She’s not getting it and she’s not making it easy so I flip the switch, I have to make her believe me.

So I laugh and its not a nice laugh causing her to look up at me “You were easy. You let me fuck you on the first date, you let me fuck you in the dirt. You and your kind aren’t the sort of people I introduce to my kids” oh god this is fucking awful and now I can’t take a fucking thing back. I’ll never forgive myself or Kim for the way Jaime looks at me right now., she’s beginning to believe me.