Learning To Fly

One Year Of Bliss.

I had finally finished teaching for the day, picked Archie up from school and had gotten home to hear Marshall complaining loudly on his phone “No Paul, no long tours I told you this already, we’re trying for a baby, I can’t commit” he goes silent, the only noise I can hear now coming from his bare feet padding across the wooden floor of our kitchen, he’s really got a bee in his bonnet lately that I haven’t fallen pregnant yet.
I kinda feel bad for listening but I kinda don’t too, whilst Marshall is better at talking to me now about what’s going on in his head some times he falls back into old habits and I play the long waiting game until he eventually tells me what’s up with him. I get there quicker sometimes by listening to his conversations.

“Listen up fucker, there’s nothing wrong with my dick or my swimmers, I got checked out just in case” this is news to me, he’s never alluded to being that worried before that he took himself off to the doctors. His voice is strained and he sounds stressed, that fucker Paul must be winding him up. I stroll on in after setting Archie down with his toys in the family room and snatch his phone out of his hand and hang up straight away before tossing his phone back down on the counter, we both watch as it skids across the top, stopping perilously close to the edge. His gaze lifts towards me, glaring at me. We don’t argue or fight but we do bicker occasionally and he’s really been pushing me lately over this.

“Why are you letting him wind you up baby?”

“Why aren’t you pregnant?” he counters childishly, before turning on his heels and taking two steps at a time heading up to our bedroom, I follow quickly, ignoring his outburst, as soon as I enter the room he’s on me, accusing me again.

“Have you been taking the pill?” he shouts at me before moving over to my wardrobe, flinging open my drawers and searching like a madman for mythical fucking pills.
Our life together has been perfect up until these past few weeks, Paul’s constant interference in this matter is stressing Marshall out to the point of turning him into a complete ass hole.

“You can quit with that attitude if you still want to get married next weekend” huffing I turn, thoroughly fed up with his behaviour and head into the bathroom to change, moments later I feel warm hands wrap around my naked belly, it makes me smile and momentarily forget what a prick he is being “Sorry Angel that fucker winds me up so much”

“You let him, ignore it. I finally feel settled, sorted with work and Archie at nursery. I’m relaxed now, my body is stress free, it will probably happen soon but I can’t keep hearing and seeing your disappointment, it hurts”  my voice breaks as finally I tell him how he’s been making me feel and I’m completely honest with him, every time he asks or makes a disappointed face because my period arrived, it makes me feel inadequate, his face drops, I hope finally he’s realising how he’s been.

Marshall steps back giving me space to change my clothes “I’m sorry, I didn’t think Jaime, it has been an upheaval, I know that’s bound to have affected things. I won’t mention it again. If it happens, I’ll be over the fucking moon and if it doesn’t, we’ll have had fun trying right” and now I feel bad because he looks so guilty “It’ll happen baby, I promise” I whisper climbing onto his lap.

“I can’t wait to be your wife” changing the subject quickly, two minutes ago I wanted to strangle him, now I just need him to love on me a little and feel his smile against my neck as he hugs me tighter. “I can’t wait to be your husband too, just yours” he whispers happily against my neck.

A whole year since Archer and I moved here to live with Marshall and neither of us had looked back, not once. I loved this house and the neighbourhood and much to my surprise I don’t even mind the fact that there’s security here 24/7. I feel safe, my kid is safe and they are very discreet and better than that, they keep the wolves from the door.