Learning To Fly

Marshall's Surprise

“Daddy I have to go but I saw someone today and I’m not sure whether to tell you or not?” she sounds worried and I would rather had said nothing at all if she was frightened to tell me but I’m sure whatever or whoever it is all will be fine.
My youngest kid has grown so much in the past two years and I’m so proud of her, she was currently away from home for the first time without me or her mother. “Just say it baby girl!” I chuckle lightly.

“Okay, I saw Jaime and we spoke for about ten minutes” silence fills the phone line so much so that Whitney calls out to me.
My heart thuds in my chest and the familiar ache of loss grips at my heart. My hands become sweaty and I wipe them over and over on my sweatpants before I find any words I can say.

“How was she?” it’s short and sweet but I fear asking anything else may cause me to break down completely.

“Yeah, she was well and she looked amazing too” I want to bombard her with questions. Was she living in Hawaii now? Or was she on vacation. Did she ask about me? Will she take me back but as per usual I was getting way ahead of myself.

It didn’t matter anyway, I now had a starting point in trying to find her and I was determined to put this mess right, I couldn’t make our baby right but I could try my best to get her to forgive me and maybe love me again. Nothing had changed for me, I was stuck forever in this purgatory of my own making.

Dialling Paul after I’d hung up with Whitney I felt a tremor of anticipation, this had to be it, Whitney seeing her meant something I was sure of it.
My mind completely discounted the fact that it just been a happy coincidence for them both.

“Fuckface” Paul answers the phone to me, “Dickwad! I need you to get me Magnum, straight away”

There’s silence the other end of the phone until Paul suddenly bursts out laughing “fucking Magnum you dick, what the fuck are you talking about little dick!” mother fucker I don’t know why I keep this asshole on my payroll.

“Whitney saw Jaime in Hawaii, I need a Magnum PI to find her Paul” I explain very carefully and his laughter ceases immediately.

“Look Marshall, I know how you feel about the girl but just let her be, she’s probably happy and moved on. You can’t fuck it up again for her buddy!”

In silence I think about Paul’s words, it’s selfish of me to want to find her, I know that but I still need to do it and this is the first tangible lead I’ve had in two years.

“Paul I need to explain myself to her at the very least, I want her to know why I said those things to her and that they weren’t true”

Nobody here knows about the baby and me pushing her to terminate, if Paul knew he’d never help me in a million years.

I’d carried that shame alone.

“I don’t understand why you didn’t tell her after it all came out anyway Marshall, you two might well have been together now if you had of done”

I have no answer I can give him because I was going to tell her but then she hit me with the baby news and I fucking lost my marbles over it.

“Please Paul, help me. If she doesn’t want to know after I speak with her, I’ll stay away I promise”

"Fine, I'll see if Tom Selleck if free or failing that a proper PI, dipshit!" And then he mumbles swearing at me under his breath before hanging up on me.

An hour later a private investigator calls and I spend an hour explaining Jaime and her last known location as best as I can, keeping my fingers crossed that he’ll find her quickly so I can get started on my mission impossible.