Learning To Fly

Marshall Closes The Door To His Past.

“Jaime sit down I want you to listen to something.” She looks at me quickly and laughs nervously at me, she looks anxious but sits at the table in front of me nonetheless “What’s wrong baby” she asks me, concerned that I might be about to give her bad news again I guess, that’s what happened the last time I sounded so serious.

“I wrote a rhythm and umm its for Kim” the words tumble out of my mouth quickly, I can’t quite judge the look that’s on her face right now because I saw a flash of anger at the mention of Kim’s name but now she’s cloaking her feelings, building up her defences against me.

“Why do I need to listen to a song about her?” I’ll give Jaime her due she doesn’t speak with an angry tone in all honesty she sounds anxious but interested. I understand her reticence and this is the reason why Jaime is the first person aside from me and production staff at the studio to hear it.

“I need you to hear it before anyone else, If you want me to pull it from the album I will and if you have questions I wanted to make sure I could answer them properly and straight away. Don’t overthink this, it is what it is” Jaime stares at me before sighing and taking my headphones from my hand, I press play and sit back watching her listen to my apology to my ex wife.

When she finishes she places my headphones quietly on the table before looking up into my eyes “You want to be with her still?” her voice breaks and for a second I’m afraid she’ll cry, smiling I take her hand “Jaime I want to be with you, there’s no one else comes close, it’s just you for me, just you and me” she sniffs in a very un Jaime like way “But why are you apologising, after what she did to us”
“I’m not apologising for that, I’m apologising for being a crappy husband. For laying hands on her when I shouldn’t have and all the other petty shit we did to each other. Its closure Angel, I feel like this is the end of my old life and I needed to close it the right way before I start my new chapter with you”

Jaime smiles and nods, reaching out and grabbing my face she pulls me in for a kiss “I understand Marshall, I hate that you hit her no matter how much she provoked you.”

I hang my head in shame “I hated myself for years Jaime, now I want to apologise and move forward with you and the kids, I’d never lay a hand on you out of anger, I hope you realise that? I was a different man back then fuelled by anger”

“I do and I love you. If it helps you to move on then you have my blessing to put it on the album.”

I love this woman so much, she gets my weird ass unlike any other human being.

“So Paul has news about keeping Archer secret but the fucker won’t tell me until I complete the album, so I’m getting my head down now Angel, supposed to drop mid December so I’ll be doing minimum promotion and then free for Christmas”  Changing the topic quickly, I ramble on stopping to catch my breath I was only there for a few hours before I had to get back to Dre on the mainland.
“I was thinking, the girls are spending Christmas day with Kim this year and then with me the day after. I thought I could bring them out to meet you and Archer and we could pretend it’s Christmas day again. What do you think?” I finally shut up speaking and wait for Jaime’s reply.

“Aren’t you a chatty Cathy today” she laughs at me.

“Angel I gotta lot on my plate and I just want to get stuff sorted is all” I'm shorter with her then I intended to be but it was important to me to have plans in place to know when I'd see them again.
Jaime blushes “I think Christmas sounds like a great idea, will you tell them about us before you come?” I nod, I’m also thinking of speaking to Kim as well but Jaime doesn’t need to know about that just yet.

“So it’ll be a few weeks until I can see you both again, maybe not until Christmas which sucks but I’ll speak to you both every day and hopefully it’ll give you the time you need.” I feel sad that it’s going to be weeks away from her and Archie but maybe this is what she needs and now I know how to FaceTime I can see her everyday too.
Just like years ago she doesn’t stress me out by whining about not being able to see me, whatever she thinks about it she’s keeping close to her chest allowing me the time I need to complete the album.
Jaime was a gift from God I’m even more convinced of this now.