Tobi's P.O.V.
It was somewhat of a rebellion thing for Vikk, letting loose after he moved out from his parents house after so long of being pressured to do well in school, and drinking was unfortunately what he turned to. He was young, barely 19, and he didn't know his limits nor what it would do to him and he got into some shit the first few times until he settled down.
I thought he would get over his partying phase after a little while and would settle down and I even thought he had settled down. He stopped going out to parties and spent more time working but every time I went around to the Sidemen house and peeked my head into his room to check up on him, I could see some empty bottle of alcohol in his room. It was a different bottle every day, in a different place, and it made me worried. I didn't confront him though.
It seemed to get worse and worse as the years passed and by the time he moved out of the Sidemen house and into his own apartment, it was really bad. He had this stash of alcohol that everyone knew about on his kitchen bench but it got obviously depleted and then replenished far too often, especially for one person. But I still never talked to anyone about it.
There had always been some snide comments about Vikk's drinking habits from both our audiences and from the other members of the Sidemen, and I hated it. I wanted to confront them about him especially when they talked about it in front of him and it made me want to explode because he looked so ashamed and scared, but he never spoke up. I think he knew that it was going too far but he didn't have the courage to stand up for himself, tell them that their comments hurt him. It was all I could do to have his back and hope a situation came up where I could talk to him.
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I knocked softly on Vikk's front door, waiting for him to open it. After a couple of minutes I was beginning to get impatient, I knew he was in there as I had dropped him home from a Sidemen Sunday filming not 6 hours earlier and I needed to drop a few of his things off that he had left behind, even though it was almost 10 at night.
"Vikk?" I knocked again, tapping my foot. "Oh- for... lordy."
I pulled my phone out and called him, beginning to get a little worried. I relaxed when he picked up.
"Tobi?" He mumbled, sounding half asleep.
"Can you answer your door please? I've got some of your stuff." There was a pause and he sighed heavily, grumbling under his breath, getting up from his bed. The door opened a moment later and my heart sank right into my stomach because the boy looked an absolute mess, dishevelled, bags under his eyes, barely standing.
"Jesus Vikk..." I said, staring. "Have you been drinking? You look terrible."
"Just leave it Tobi." He hissed, flinching at my voice. He held out his hands for his things and I gave them to him, but barged my way into his apartment before he could shut the door. "Tobi no...!" He mumbled. "I just wanna sleep."
"I know you do, but right now you're a mess Vikk. I just want to make sure you're alright."
He gave me a tired look but finally sighed and turned back. "Fine. Just... I'm going to bed."
His bedroom was an absolute mess. The curtains were half shut, clothes all over the floor, sheets and duvet strewn across his bed. Empty bottles on the ground. There was no way in hell he was sleeping in here.
"Come on Vikk." I waved him back into the hallway.
"What?" He mumbled, already heading towards his bed.
"You aren't sleeping in here. You need to rest now, but you can't sleep in there with it looking like that." He began to whine and complain and only stopped when I took his hand, gently leading him into his guest bedroom which was much tidier than his own room. I tucked him into the bed like a child and it didn't take very long before his eyes were dropping.
"You really need to stop drinking, I'm serious Vikk." He looked away from me, his cheeks going red with embarrassment. "You're not okay."
"I know I'm not." He breathed, pausing, before finally rolling over to face away from me.
I stayed with him until he finally fell asleep, making sure he was tucked in tight and I also left the door slightly cracked open, the hallway light on. I had already decided to stay the night to look after him in the morning because he would have a wicked hangover and he would be in no mood to clean up his apartment. I decided to do it for him.
Humming, I quietly began tidying up Vikk's room. I threw out all of the old bottles, put his sheets in the wash, opened his curtains and aired out the room and remade his bed. It still smelled strongly like alcohol and although I had originally assumed that Vikk had gone out, I quickly realised he had probably been drinking at home. Something was very, very wrong, but I didn't know what. Something was on his mind.
Finally I grabbed a blanket and settled down on the couch downstairs, waiting for the morning to come.
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I was awoken by the sounds of retching upstairs and practically sprinted upstairs to find Vikk leaning over the toilet, everything from the night before catching up to him. All I could do was gently rub his shoulders and hold him upright when he fell back, pale and exhausted. He rubbed his temples, probably nursing a pounding headache.
"I think it's back to bed for you."
He only nodded, too tired to say anything. I helped him back into bed and hoped he would feel a little better the next time he awoke. There would be another time to talk to him.
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The conversation came naturally once Vikk was over his hangover, curled up on his couch with me on the other. It started slowly and grew more and more personal as we talked until I finally began to understand why Vikk had turned to drinking- the pressure from his parents, the thought of being a failure, the freedom he had never had and, I think the biggest reason, the fear of others finding out he was gay. It was a coping mechanism, a way of ignoring reality.
I slowly began to open up to him more too, eventually confessing the one thing I had kept buried inside me for far too long- he was the first person I had ever come out to, as bi, and it was such a weight off my shoulders.
Our first kiss was shared that day, a soft and hesitant but something I didn't realise I needed until much later. I had been touch starved and it honestly began something I loved and treasured so, so much and I loved Vikk with all of my heart. He was beautiful, amazing, everything I could have ever wanted. It began his road to recovery too, trying to find some sense of normalcy after having turned to alcohol for so many years.
I gently snaked my arms around Vikk's waist, smiling silently as he leaned back against me. I loved holding him close, peppering kisses to his face and sometimes just lying with him beside me because we could. I had moved in with him after a couple of months actually, and the other boys didn't know. We would rather keep it a secret, for now at least.
"Love you Vikk." I whispered, pressing a kiss to his cheek. He smiled.
"Love you too Tobi." He breathed. "So much."
