Vikk's P.O.V.
I hadn't always slept this bad, when I was a teenager I had always been fine sleeping, getting 7 or 8 hours each night because I honestly didn't function without that much. But after I finished high school and began to work on my YouTube channels full-time, my sleep schedule just went out the window. I didn't mean it at first but the pressure of getting 3 or 4 videos out every day had just gotten too much for me, and I often skipped sleep to get them out.
At first, I don't think the other Sidemen boys noticed. Only three of them lived with me and JJ was unobservant, Simon hardly left his room and Josh was either sleeping, recording or out with Freya to notice that I wasn't sleeping. I could get away with recording for 16 hours straight, not eating and not sleeping, and none of them noticed at all. I think it might have been that feeling that I was getting away with something, something sneaky, that made me continue the cycle of not sleeping and not eating and not caring about myself.
I lost a lot of weight. There were bags constantly under my eyes and the only thing I was drinking was coffee just to keep myself going. Still, no one noticed.
There was one person that noticed though. And I knew he noticed because he was always calling when I should have been going to bed, begging me to shut down my computer, chastising me whenever I had a cup of coffee in my hand in the hours before nightfall. He really was trying to help me, and that person was Lachlan. We hadn't met in real life before but now, about 3 years into our YouTube careers and two years since we first started recording Minecraft videos together and we were finally going to meet up- in less than a month!
It was honestly one of the only things I was looking forward to and it kept me going until he arrived despite how tired I was, and how many videos I had to record. He still continued to call me every evening, his morning, to check how I was doing and to make sure I was sleeping properly- which I lied about because I clearly wasn't sleeping- and although he accepted my answers, I could tell he was suspicious.
"Mornin' Vikk." He slurred a bit, bed head displayed clearly on my screen. He was lying on his bed, having yet to get up, calling me on his phone with sleep still in his eyes. "You going to bed soon?"
"Mhm." I mumbled- a lie. "Just finishing this video. What do you have planned today? Wanna record after I sleep?" He perked up at that, eyes bright.
"Yeah! That sounds good, find the button map? I saw a new one the other day."
"Of course." I managed to laugh. There was a comfortable pause. "You looking forward to coming around here?"
"Obviously." He laughed. "I can't wait to see you! It's gonna be so fun!"
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I couldn't help but to throw myself into Lachlan's arms the second I saw him, making him laugh loudly and drop his suitcase to hug me back. He could wrap his arms around me easily and he simply picked me up, rocking me from side to side a little bit. He was just so happy to see me and I was happy to see him too that we stood there for quite a few minutes, just wrapped up in each others arms.
Lachlan pulled away, grinning happily, a content smile on his face.
"Good to see you Vikk." He finally whispered, squeezing my waist. "God, this is exactly how I imagined it."
I couldn't really say anything, I only held onto him and never wanted to let him go. I just breathed in his scent, closed my eyes and buried my head into his chest, rocking slightly from foot to foot as he hugged right back.
"Lets go home." I mumbled, pulling back.
"Yeah." He whispered, giggling a bit. "I'm hungry and tired. Going home would be great."
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Lachlan slept for a couple of days, trying to get over the jetlag and waking up only to eat and sleep and maybe to shower. It was a bit odd considering he was sleeping in my bedroom, Harry was staying the guest room upstairs having come over from Guernsey, and it was difficult to record with him lying on the bed in the background but I eventually got over it and just did it. I just recorded with him sleeping in the background with absolutely no explanation.
I.... I didn't sleep. If I hadn't been sleeping before Lachlan arrived I certainly wasn't sleeping now both because it was awkward and because I wanted to spend more time with Lachlan during the day while still getting my videos out. Sometimes I glanced over my shoulder when I was taking a moment to breathe and looked at my friend, sleeping peacefully tucked under the blanket with only his eyes in view. I couldn't help but smile.
It took him four days to realise that I wasn't sleeping, like, at all. I suppose it took me tripping and almost falling down the stairs for him to realise in his tired state and that was when we had the awkward and unfortunate conversation.
"Vikky?" Lachlan called, poking his head around the door to glance at where I was sitting at my desk, about to begin another recording. "Can I... can I talk to you?"
"I guess?" I mumbled, blinking.
He held out his hand to me and I took it, slightly confused, but he only lead me over to the bed and sat down, pulling me to sit down beside him. He kept his hand in mine though, squeezing gently.
"Why aren't you sleeping Vikk?" He asked quietly. "You're always still recording when I go to sleep and recording when I wake up, do you even go to bed?" I shrugged. "Please Vikk, I'm worried about you."
"I just... don't sleep." I shrugged. "I can't." Lachlan blinked for a moment, frowning as he thought.
"Do you have insomnia?" He finally asked, giving me a curious look. I shrugged again.
"Dunno." I mumbled. "I've never been diagnosed with anything but probably."
Lachlan thought for another few minutes before coming with his own solution, wrapping his arms around me. I squirmed and tried to fight my way out of his grip but Lachlan only giggled and held me tighter.
"We're going to sleep now." He mumbled, wrapping his legs around me too. I groaned and squirmed but that only made him tighten his full body grip on me, kicking the covers down only to drop them back over us. "No, seriously, you need sleep Vikk. And if you can't sleep by yourself, I'm gonna try and help."
"Lachy no I gotta record, I don't want to sleep-"
"Don't care." He refused to let me go and after only a couple of moments of struggling I completely gave up, relaxing in his arms and burying my head in the pillow. Lachlan slowly released me, ready to grab me again in case I tried to run. I didn't, I couldn't be bothered. I was exhausted despite how much I tried to say I wasn't tired, because I really was. "You alright now?"
"Mm." I breathed. "I want to sleep but I can't."
Lachlan thought for another a couple of moments before gently moving his hand and he began to run it through my hair, startling me for a moment. But I couldn't help but to relax into it, quickly closing my eyes because I didn't want him to stop. He didn't.
He continued to run a gentle hand through my hair long after I fell asleep in his arms, or long after he thought I was asleep anyway. I had drifted off for a couple of hours and when I partially woke up later on he was still doing it, fingers playing with my hair, on the verge of sleep himself. I shuffled a bit, groaning slightly, and Lachlan wrapped his other arm around me, pulling me closer.
"Shhhhhhh." He whispered, slurring tiredly. "Shhhhhh, it's okay, it's okay." I whimpered quietly, tossing my head. "Just sleep Vikky, just sleep."
I didn't manage to relax again until he started playing with my hair again, distracting me from whatever nonsense was running around in my head. His other arm was still around me, holding me tight.
"Sleep Vikky." He whispered again, and in a tiny glance I took up at him I saw that his eyes were closed. "I love you. It's okay."
I smiled, and was still smiling when I finally fell asleep.
