PRINCESS AGENTS (SEASON 2)-COMPLETED

Chapter 92

Back when she sent Xuan Mo to the Southeast, she did not want to kill him, and neither did she want to take away his command of the army.

At that time, the Song Empire was at its weakest as various military factions were secretly beginning to act against the royal family. She had intended to borrow Yan Bei's power to save the Nalan Family and to protect the civilians from the flames of war. Yet, those stubborn old guards refused to accept such a solution. At that time, whoever gave the country away, whoever would become the eternal traitor of the nation and forever remembered as the betrayer. She did not want the loyal Xuan Mo to be the one, and as such, she shifted him far away from the center. She was also worried that his soldiers would make more trouble. Should his subordinates agree in unison to stir up trouble, even if Xuan Mo did not agree, with Yan Xun as the ruler, the officials of Yan Bei would undoubtedly try to push the blame onto him. As such, she took away his subordinates and pushed him to lead the navy, who was completely irrelevant.

Yet, no matter how she had calculated, she had not expected that the bandits would attack the military installations while Song sank into civil unrest. And in addition, she had not expected that with such high appointment, Xuan Mo would personally head into the battlefield.

Thinking about it, her current situation now was really just karma. Being involved in politics for so long, her hands were stained with blood. With one order, thousands of heads would roll. She had never regretted her choices, so she understood her situation. She completely understood that she deserved it.

As such, when she realized that Yan Xun had been visiting her every month during her safe days, she suddenly understood that he had not truly wanted her to be his wife, to give birth to his kids. Even though she had promised the Song Court that she would maintain the position of the Song Empire, but she did not enforce it. She did not want everything between her and Yan Xun to be branded as political.

That was probably the first time that she was stubborn and selfish in her life.

Afterward, each time they spent the night, she would eat contraceptive herbs and kill off any worries he had. Later, he came even more rarely. As of now, he had not spent the night with her for nearly two years.

All her life, whatever she craved was like sand that escaped her grasp through the gaps in her fingers. The more she tried to grab hold of them tightly, the faster they slipped away. In the end, nothing was left.

With the flames burning, each letter was eventually burnt up. The flames burnt away the last correspondence and evidence of their past. Bit by bit, along with her broken life, it was completely burnt up.

Some love was sweet. Some love was all about being burdened. She had let Xuan Mo down and felt an eternal sense of regret. Now that she was about to die, why should she let him know everything and feel bad about it all?

This life of his was tough enough. Why would she sprinkle salt on his wounds?

Burn, Burn it all.

All people could see his prosperity and wealth, power and authority, yet only she could see that under all that layers of the facade, his heart was completely worn out. It was not that he did not want to love, it was just that he could not afford to love.

She was the same as him, and carried on her too many responsibilities. She could not afford to be selfish, rash, passionate, much less naive.

Burn, burn it all

The immense smoke rose up as she started to cough violently again. A warm liquid started to flow down again. At that moment, memories flashed before her eyes. It was spring again, as the white flower petals floated down as he stood in the garden. Looking back, his eyes were crystal clear. Wearing a smile, he looked at her with interest as he teased, "Are you lost? Which palace did you come from?"