16. Angry

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Every human being has a past. Some do not want to be forgotten and some want to be forgotten.

For Jonghyun, the woman named Park Jisoo is in the second part. Because he could not go back to the past and change things, instead he really wanted to forget it.  Without the rest.

Not. It's not because Jonghyun was betrayed before. Nor because of feeling hurt. He is not that fond of Jisoo. But Jonghyun always feels sorry for wasting his time for Jisoo. And increasingly feel regret again when Seungyeon asked him with sad eyes.

In his twenty-six years of life, Jonghyun swore that this was the first time he had a desire not to hurt a woman other than his mother and his two sisters. Maybe anyone who hears about this won't believe it, but really, with Seungyeon it feels like he's really in love.

His feelings were frivolous when he saw the pair of eyeballs looked sad. And the cause of her sadness is himself.

"Why didn't you say anything?" Seungyeon asked again when Jonghyun just stayed there. Looking at her blankly.

"Because she means nothing to me." His answer in the end. Slowly. Like a whisper.

Seungyeon smiled slightly and lowered her face deeply. The girl wanted to believe the words the man just said before. But, after all that happened recently, no one can blame if now her heart is in doubt.

Jonghyun touched Seungyeon's chin, lifting it up so the girl looked at his face.

"I'm sorry. And forgive all my past." He said.

"How did you feel when you met her again?"

"I don't feel anything."

Again, Seungyeon smiled slightly. "But you spent a lot of time with her."

"Ya, to emphasize once again that now I am with you. Me and her are finished."

"I don't think you're done yet."

Jonghyun frowned, confused. "What you mean?" He asked.

"If you guys are done, I don't think Jisoo-ssi will contact you again." Seungyeon said calmly, staring Jonghyun straight still with that wistful look. "Last night I picked up the phone."

Jonghyun takes a step backward. His fingers no longer touched the girl in front of him in the slightest. His expression was illegible, he could be confused, sad, or maybe angry.

"She called me? And you answered?"  Jonghyun asked in a different tone, as if panicking. "What did she say?"

"Are you angry? Because I picked up the phone without your permission?"  Seungyeon asked instead.

Jonghyun grabbed his own hair, frustrated.  Then look away from Seungyeon. "Just tell me. What did she say?"

"She didn't say anything."

Hearing that answer Jonghyun looked at Seungyeon in disbelief, he narrowed his eyes, making Seungyeon wonder who was the man actually angry at?

"Do not lie!"

For God's sake! Seungyeon was surprised to hear it coming out of her lover's mouth.  Is he really the same guy who was fifteen minutes ago hugged her affectionately?

"I am not lying." Seungyeon still answers calmly.

"There's no way she didn't say anything. Jisoo isn't the type that can hold her mouth from saying all sorts of things."

Okay, now Seungyeon seems to no longer know the man in front of her. She is got down from her seat on the dining table, and walked towards Jonghyun's room, where her bag, cellphone and other belongings were located.

"Answer me, Seungyeon!" Jonghyun followed Seungyeon's steps.

"Stop asking me questions." Seungyeon suddenly turned around, making Jonghyun stop as well. "It seems like you knows her better than me."

"Stop talking nonsense like that!"  Jonghyun raised his notes a few octaves.  Staring at Seungyeon just a few steps in front of him.

Realizing Seungyeon was shocked by what he just said, Jonghyun took a step forward.  But in the same second Seungyeon took a step backward. Obviously the rejection made Jonghyun surprised. Very surprised.

Then without saying anything else, Seungyeon hurriedly took his cellphone and bag by almost running, exiting the room and heading to the main door to leave his lover's apartment.

Jonghyun was still too shocked by what he had said before and failed to recover his clear mind until the main door was loudly closed. Quick as lightning he exits the apartment, hoping Seungyeon is still there waiting for the elevator, but it's not. The girl is gone.

***

Seungyeon managed to make the first taxi she saw stop. Then she walked in and mentioned the address of the apartment to the driver. Well, she shouldn't do this. She should have called the manager or driver for a pickup, but she seemed to have lost her mind.

It's only eight o'clock in the morning, but Seungyeon already feels very tired. Since returning from Sokcho she always felt tired.  Her mind was tired because it was filled with curiosity that might -unnaturally, her heart was tired of feeling doubtful, the girl was tired of feeling suspicious and feeling like having at the same time.

'I could have held it all in. I should be more in control of what I say.' she told herself.

Seungyeon felt that this time was really over. This is the first time she has heard Jonghyun speak to her in such a high tone.  The first time, Jonghyun looked very angry.  The gentle and loving man changed in seconds. Half-heartedly regret, because it has provoked a commotion that might have triggered the "completion" of their relationship. But the other half of her heart was angry, because Jonghyun seemed not to believe what she said, even though she had said the truth. It should be her who is mad at Jonghyun, right?

Thirty-five minutes later the taxi Seungyeon was riding in stopped in front of her apartment building, after paying and saying a short thank you to the driver, she almost ran into the building.

Seungyeon closed the door and leaned there. Just realized that she didn't wear a coat in the cold December air, she must have left Jonghyun's place. Fortunately, she still remembers her cellphone and bag, which turned out to be empty, because last night she took out all the contents of the bag just to find a hair tie. The stupid time with everything, Seungyeon went to the bathroom and immediately stood under the shower, letting cold water soak all of her body, hoping cold water can restore her clear mind.

***

Jonghyun took a light blue coat lying on the sofa in the living room of his apartment, Seungyeon's coat. The man feels increasingly sorry for what just happened when he realized Seungyeon left from there angrily. The girl must be cold. Jonghyun considered pursuing, but then he thought maybe it would be better to leave each of them alone first, to calm down emotions, when it was calmer then he would meet with Seungyeon and discuss everything in a better way.

Jisoo called him. Just remembering that made Jonghyun's emotions rise again.  Really. Does that woman still not understand what he said the other day?  Then Jonghyun checked the phone records on his cellphone, found Jisoo's incoming call at two in the morning, only thirty seconds long. The shortest duration of all Jisoo phones he has ever received. It seems like Seungyeon was telling the truth, Jisoo didn't say anything.

Jonghyun felt he had to say more clearly to Jisoo about their relationship. He must make her stop contacting him. Then still with the remaining emotions Jonghyun touched the telephone picture beside Jisoo's name on his cellphone screen.

"Oppa?"

"I have something to talk about. I'm going to your place now."

***

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