flower. h.s ✔️

fifty three.

"Are you watching porn on my TV?"

I called out to Harry as I checked on the eggnog in the slow cooker, I had practically forced Eleanor to give me the recipe on Saturday and then actually forced Harry to take me to get all the necessary ingredients on Sunday morning.

"No." Harry muttered just as I stepped back into the room, the erotic moans subsiding slightly as the scene changed and I took my place on the sofa next to him. "Cruel Intentions."

"Oh I love this film." I glanced at the screen as I settled in, the awkward but quite tender first time starting with Reese Witherspoon's character made me slightly uncomfortable.

I mean, it was just me and Harry but there was still this weird undertone energy that felt like I was watching a sex scene with a parent in the room, I didn't know why considering Harry and I were not that far away from having sex.

But clearly we were.

He'd barely touched me since we got home and I thought that after what happened in the hotel room things would be different but no. It was always kissing and me wanting more and him saying no.

Which I respected but he never brought it up either and it was starting to frustrate me, I was starting to get frustrated.

"Weird movie to show on Christmas Eve." Harry mumbled making me snort, he wasn't wrong.

"Christmas Eve day, technically." I said making Harry stare me as if I'd lost my mind and I shrugged, stuffing another handful of twiglets into my mouth.

I didn't expect Harry to stay on this channel but he did and the two of us settled into silence, I wasn't sure what time Harry was leaving and I didn't want to ask in case it was sooner than I realised.

But all I knew was that Harry said he was going to pick Niall up and then go to the airport and Niall had mentioned the flight was at five this afternoon and it was only twenty five past one so I had a while.

I hoped.

"Do you really not have a gag reflex?" Harry asked randomly a little while later and my head snapped towards him.

"No, do you wanna see?"

I sat up looking at Harry with wide eyes, his own eyes drifting to me slowly before he laughed and I swallowed.

"Calm down puppy, bit eager."

Oh.

I slowly slid back down so I was slumped again and kept my eyes away from Harry, I really didn't get it.

I liked Harry and I wanted to be on my knees for him whenever he wanted but clearly he didn't want that.

I didn't understand, didn't guys like the whole idea of no gagging?

Did Harry not like me like that?

I gently pushed Harry's hand off my thigh the moment it took its place and instead turned my legs away from him so I was leaning against the armrest. I mean, it was Christmas Eve for god sakes, I didn't want to be annoyed.

Harry was leaving and clearly I wasn't even going to get to make him happy in that way.

"Stop it." I said quietly, pushing Harry's hand a little bit harder this time as he tried it again.

"Flower." Harry's voice was low and controlled and I knew if he decided to push this I would explode, my feelings were hurt.

My eyes stayed glued to the TV screen even though I could see Harry's eyes on my face but neither of us said anything.