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Mabel

Walking into his office, I was engulfed by the cold atmosphere around him. He didn't look up from the file he had been busy going through, neither did he say anything to acknowledge my presence.

Honestly, I didn't know exactly what do say.

I mean, what would I tell him? How the hell do I phrase what I was about to say?

Hey! Uh... I appreciate the fact that you gave me a job, after everything I did... But I just do not like the current job you gave me. Can I change?

Too blunt?

Mr. Chesterfield, I'm sorry for disturbing you, but I'm allergic to cleaning toilets, is there another job I can do?

Nah, that's an obvious lie.

Mr. Chesterfield, I Know I don't deserve to work for you, and this is- this is weird for you, and for me too... The main point is, I'm not comfortable with the position you placed me. Cleaning toilets are not my thing? So if you could please reconsider?

Polite but, all over the place.

Hi, Cade. I know you asked me not to call you that, but... I really need you to find another-

"If you came here to remain silent, you can as well go out and do that in your working space. As you can see, I'm very busy in mine." His voice cut through my thoughts, but he still didn't look up from the file.

I shifted from one foot to another, clearing my throat. "I'm sorry, I just don't know how to phrase what I want to say." I said

"Well then, when you're ready, you can come back." He said, scribbling something on the file.

Okay, breathe, Mabel... Your head held high, your pride in check, your family comes first. A familiar voice cut through my thoughts.

"I'm ready." I said, my voice coming out more calm.

"Okay, speak."

Letting out a breath, the grip I had on my bag, loosened. "I don't think I can work as a sanitary keeper."

His head still didn't come up. "And why is that?" His tone grew cold.

I swallowed. "My team mates are making me feel uncomfortable and I just don't think working there would get me out of your hair as soon as you'd want."

He paused, his head rising as his eyes met mine.

I took in a deep breath, cause if looks could kill, I don't think I'd be able to breathe right now. His eyes were as cold as his tone. This was a look I'd never known his face could pull.

He used to be nice. Well, to me.

"What?" He asked.

A sparkle of fear rose like a bile in my throat and stomach.

Breathe, Mabel, your head held high, your pride in check, your family comes first.

"You don't want to be around me, as much as I do not want to be around you," I started, not believing a single word I just said. As much as I want to deny it, I did miss him, and I wish I could just explain everything to him... I knew he hated me, and I hated it, I didn't want him to think that I left him on purpose, or I never did want to marry him... I just wanted him to know that I would have gone through with it.

But... None of those things was ever going to happen, I'm never going to admit that aside from the run away part, I still did care about him, and in the last few years, I'd wondered how he was doing. It was better off with him, thinking whatever he wanted to to think. I wasn't ever going to clarify myself. I'd just act according to the way he felt. "I don't think it would do you much good to hire me as your sanitary keeper. I'm here to pay a debt. So I think that if you give me a better job with a much more better pay, I can easily, slip out of your hair, and all this would be like a very bad dream."

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