The School Idol's Roommate [BL]

That boy (3)

During the summer, Liam was not able to see Aki that much. They did not take the same classes, so there were fewer chances for them to meet.

He thought that was for the best. That was the end of this weird feeling he was having. He could finally return to his normal life without Aki popping up in his mind every minute. As if to prove a point, he fought the urge to look at his phone and stare at that photo.

'It was just a passing crush,' he told himself. It was bound to go away. It had to.

One day, he was sitting in his studio, but he could not think of what to paint. He reached for his phone and flipped through the places he took, but none appealed to him. He switched to his sketchpad and tried to draw. Still, he drew a blank. He continued searching through his phone to find inspiration.

Until he reached that picture, the photo he had not seen for the longest time.

Something akin to warmth spread through him, like that feeling when you find your favorite blanket on a rainy day. It seemed impossible and a little silly, but he missed that person.

'Stop. You don't want to be hurt again.'

Liam chucked his phone away and went on to his day, but he could not take his mind off that photo hidden in his phone. Neither that face nor that person.

'Maybe if I draw him, he'll stop appearing in my head.'

He found himself printing that picture. As he waited for the printer to finish, half of his mind detested this idea. This was like saving a piece of incriminating evidence, a physical manifestation of his secret crush. He was finally naming -- claiming -- what he first thought to be a fleeting feeling.

But this would remain a secret. No one should know, and no one should see these things. This part of him would remain hidden for as long as he lived.

When, at last, he had the picture in his hand, he thought he could put all of this behind. He set to work on the portrait... then realized with so much frustration that he lacked the skills in that area. No matter how much he tried, everything ended in failure. His inexperience could not do justice to Aki. He could not quite get those prominent cheekbones and deep-set eyes. He studied and tried again until he collected quite a few failed paintings.

***

The following semester, he was hanging out with his friends at the bar when he felt someone nudged him.

"Why the long face?" Chris asked.

He only saw Aki once in the cafeteria, that was it. He tried to ignore the dejection he felt. Instead, he answered, "Just tired from all that papers and readings."

At that moment, the door opened, and as if there was a magnet pulling, Liam looked over, just in time for a now-familiar face to enter. He almost choked on his drinks. He was trying to catch any sight of this person all around the university, and he would only find Aki here in the bar? The bar of all places? The studious Aki? But Liam was not complaining.

Moonlight was their group's usual hang out place, so they pretty much knew the usual patrons. Aki was not one of them.

Unlike the usual impassive face Aki wore at the university, he had an excited face. He glanced around the bar until his eyes landed on the counter. Then he smiled, his whole face softened and lit up. Liam had to consciously remind himself to close his mouth and to gulp because his throat was so dry.

Liam discreetly followed Aki with his eyes. Aki met another guy, a perky one. He recognized him as one of the new faces in the bar, always sitting in that area. They chatted, and Aki continued to glow as the night went on. Liam knew that look, and he could also tell that Aki had no chance. Aki was similar to Liam before, and that guy was no different from his ex -- their eyes set on someone else, but Liam and Aki were too into them to actually notice.

Night after night, he goes to the bar hoping to catch Aki. And night after night, he saw them together. Every time, he wanted to support Aki even if he knew that Aki's quest was futile. Even if he knew that 'his' efforts and feelings were futile. And night after night it felt like someone stabbing him in the chest.