First love

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I never wanted to get married because of my bitter past but I was helpless in front of my grandmother. She is like my other mother. After my parents demise she took great care of us so I can't hurt her feelings. The only thing she requested from me was my marriage. I know her health is deteriorating and can't risk her life by denying her wishes blindly.

Only by that time I met Radhika in my office when someone was proposing to her, she straight away rejected me. I was quite impressed with her attitude and bond towards her family. Most importantly she hates to be in a relationship . I knew she was hurt by her first love. I want such a girl who would never fall in love, who would never believe in marriage, who would never fall for me so that she will give me divorce with ease without any trouble. That's why I selected Radhika.

I decided to talk with her regarding this marriage. When I proposed marriage I was surprised at her gesture. She refused to marry me  in spite of the need for money. I knew well about her mother's health and financial status but she ignored my proposal. I was impressed more with her. I respected her decision and  started to find someone like her but I failed.

After some days she came to my cabin, I sensed something was wrong with her. To my surprise she came with a marriage proposal, I was speechless. When I asked her the reason she threw out her misery, she was in need of money to save her mother. She tried harder to control her tears but burst out and cried like a kid, I felt like giving her my shoulders. I controlled myself but I was not aware of the reason why I thought so. Because I never felt emotional for some random girl.

I used the opportunity to marry her in hook and crook. I tried my best to convince our families to do a proper wedding. I wanted to include every possible custom in this marriage as I know this is the only marriage of my life, she is my one and only bride. I didn't know why?? but I wanted her to feel this marriage as a real one instead of a namesake marriage.

During that time I never asked her opinion, she was also not interested in looking after wedding preparations slightly. I was disappointed with her ignorance but I never showed it. Instead I expressed my disappointment in her as an annoyance. But every time whenever I tried to hurt her I got to see tears in those innocent eyes, which pierced my soul.

On our wedding day, she entered the wedding altar with my sister.  I was mesmerised by her beauty. She looked like an angel, I have never seen her in such a way, our eyes met only for a few seconds, she was shy and low down her head. She was anxious when she was made to sat next to me, my hands brushed her hand and her glossy lips trembled.
I enjoyed every moment of her cute nervousness, I felt like I was in a different world. I looked at her inside gaze. She looks absolutely pretty. She looks perfect in every way, I can't take off my eyes she looks like a goddess of beauty, I knew she was checking me.

While tying the mangalyam my fingers brushed her neck she was nervous and had goosebumps, I whispered in her ear "Don't worry relax it's over". I filled vermillion in her forehead and we took wedding vows around the holy fire. I noticed her cheek turned pink, her eyes twinkled, a curve on her lips,  I felt proud at the changes on her because, I'm the only reason behind this all. I was happy that she is also getting affected with my presence. After all it's a proud feel of any husband. Later I put metti (toe ring) in her second finger. Finally we both got hitched.

While leaving her family she was broken completely. I was hurt to see her in tears. Her father gave her soft hands in mine, I held it gently but firmly I assured him I will take care of her. I can't let her cry after marriage. She is my wife and my responsibility. While leaving back to my villa she cried inconsolably. I was helpless to see her in such a state I just held her hand gently to console her but suddenly she took her hand from mine. I was hurt as well as angry felt to pull her hands back,
can't I hold her hand?? 
Didn't I have rights??

Each and every nerve of my body wanted to embrace her.....a sudden realisation hit me.
What?? am I thinking about her??
How can I think like this??
How can I develop feelings for her??
She is not going to be with me forever. This is a fake marriage.This is not a normal marriage it's a marriage of convenience.

Dammit!!
She is getting on my nerves. This girl has some magic. I can't resist her.
Slowly I realised I was attracted to her from that day she cried in front of me. The magic she possesses was...
Her tears,
Her anxious,
Her burst out,
Her courage,
Her honesty,
Finally those pairs of innocent eyes started to do some magic on me. I knew I was attracted to her but, slowly she occupied my heart without my knowledge. I tried my best to avoid her but I failed to control my growing feelings for her.

By the time we reached my home, after finishing post wedding rituals I went to my room, I needed some time to know my feelings. I started to recollect how these all started?
When did I fall for her??
Did she know my feelings??

With a fit of rage I hit the wall and my eyes turned red in anger.
I realised I'm in love with her.
She is my first love.
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She will be my last love. 

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To be continued....

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