Day 106

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Tuesday, July 21, 2020

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Harsh language warning, I'm sorry but I just need to vent and cursing slips out a lot.




I fucking hate this shit country I live in. 

Oh America, land of freedom, how fucking wonderful. 

Land of free? More like land of putting people we don't like in camps since we colonized a place was never ours to take.

Land of prosperity? More like we have billionaires, hell trillionaires, and people are homeless, starving, and living paycheck to paycheck LONG before this pandemic.

Land of equality? More like women are still ignored and held to impossible standards while black women are also considered maturer than their white counterparts and black men are characterized as gang members and Asian people are mocked for their genetics that they have no control over and Spanish speakers are all thought to be drug dealers and if you so much as speak a different language or different sounding English then you're harassed in public.

Land of safety? More like children are slaughtered in schools and police officers kill innocent people in the streets and people die because they couldn't pay for life saving medicine and people are raped all the time but no one is believed when someone speaks out and people are murdered for being different but no one does a thing to protect them.

"What of our great history?" they say.

I scream back with a world wary voice that is too young to sound like that, "What of it? What of the murdering, the stealing, the raping? What of the manipulation, of the trickery, the forced moving? What of the camps, of the death marches, the destruction of cultures? What of the blind eye to suffering, of the enslavement, of the tearing apart of families? What of the murder of innocent people, of the wrongful imprisonment, of the social shaming for something out of someone's control? What of the oppression of people based on something they have no control over, of the beating and killing in the streets, of the hatred of people hoping for a better life? What of the wars, of the crimes committed you turned a blind eye to, of the silencing of voices? What of the poisoning of the earth, of the ignorance you seek to spread, of the dying you pretend not to see inside? Is that the history you speak of? Is that the history you are proud of?"

 "You're lying!" they shout back. "Where are your sources?!"

"Read a goddamn history textbook that isn't meant for school you ignorant pigs," I yell back.

"If you want us to listen to you, stop using such foul language," they yell.

"Why should I?" I yell back. "You yell it everyday at your tv screens, at your spouses and your children and your employees and coworkers, why should I hold myself to a higher standard than you hold yourself?"

And like stepping out of the space station and hearing the nothing, there is silence.

"Why argue with them," I say to myself, to the silence, "with one hand tied behind my back, when they have both hands free? I may be young, but my blood bleeds the same color and when the time comes and I die, I will become part of the statistic that they will continue to ignore. I am but another young soul in a dying world, and I will raise my voice, hopeless though it may be, and let them hear my rage. They will ignore it, but my rage will burn for those who can no longer burn. And one day, our rage will burn and burn, it will burn down this world that ignores us and we will burn so bright that when they finally look up, they will see us as we burn down their world that killed us and they will know that rage is not killed when the body dies, it is pressed in every fiber of the new ones, the ones who will continue to burn for them, and so it is for thousands and thousands of generations until the burning is satisfied. But it will not be satisfied yet, no, not until the world who has ignored it for so long burns."

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