Day 141

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Tuesday, August 25, 2020

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Hey sorry guys about everything last night. My iPad was out of order, Wattpad was glitching like crazy, I had just spent a day in too-tight around the hips jean shorts because it was laundry day so my body was yelling at me, my parents had the family go to another family's house to have dinner together and I was mad in many fronts over that, I found out that I do not in fact have the house to myself on Wednesday because my mom will be here as well, and I started having bad cramps on top of everything else so I was in a terrible mood last night and I kinda took that out on my message board. 

Here's the good news though! I got 2,000 words out in one day plus editing yesterday. My iPad is working now. My room is a bit more clean than it was two days ago. My period started so I won't have to deal with it during school for a while! 

Okay so I don't have a lot going for me right now. But I'll get through this, I have before and I will now. I only have 500 more words to go for my SS fic then I'll take the rest of Wednesday to start cramming for school. Thursday depending on how I feel, as I will also be getting up at 6 starting then to get ready for school, so I'll either start up writing new chapters to prepare for school killing my schedule or I'll pack my backpack for school. Friday is a self care day if I can, and if I can't it'll be chores and writing. 

Because school starts next Tuesday, but that's my virtual day so I'll just be patrolling my iPad for signs as to where I need to be for what class and what I need to do. Then I have Wednesday as my first out of two in person days (the bus picks me up at 6:56am and I want to strangle someone) so there's that big panic. Then Thursday, my last virtual day, then Friday which is my last in person day that week.

Either way I'm not ready for this at all, especially that whole panic of "find my locker because we weren't allowed to go to our lockers before school started" and "mask wear your mask don't take off your mask" and "where are my classes" to "where do I find my friends that have the same in person days as me at lunch" to "DON'T YOU DARE BE LATE TO THE BUS YOU IDIOT MOVE MOVE MOVE YOU'RE GOING TO MISS THE BUS AND HAVE TO CALL SOMEONE TO PICK YOU UP YOU DUMB KID" and like, I'm not good under this much stress. 

I'm very small.

And very weak.

And very nervous.

First days are hard even when I know where my locker is and who my teachers are and where I'm going and who my classmates are. 

I don't have any of that now.

Stress is not good for the baby.




For your information I feel the need to inform y'all that I'm the baby.


At least I have an hour lunch. So like, I'll be able to answer any notifications during lunch because I can eat in under ten minutes. Seriously, breakfast takes me under five minutes, lunch takes me under ten. Dinner doesn't count because it's with the family and changes all the time.

Oh and because school's starting up I'm reintroducing myself to eating breakfast! Two packets of instant oatmeal, one tiny glass of milk, boom breakfast guaranteed to hold me maybe two hours but drawn out to last four or five hours. I did it this morning, I can get everything set up in the minute it takes to heat up the water just like normal!


I am going to slip into a ton of unhealthy habits because of school and the fact that I'm noticing it already is scary. 

You guys have to gently call me out and remind me to eat properly because school hits me differently then what you've gotten to know.


Stay safe kiddos, my pms are always open for you!

Love you <3<3<3

~Ink

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