Friday, August 7, 2020
~~~
As a closeted asexual, I'm fairly used to the "one day you'll meet the one", the "one day when you have kids", and the "at your wedding", with variants but they usually boil down to that.
I'm used to it.
Does it ever change when I've been saying for approximately over five years "I want to be single"?
No.
I still get the "oh just you wait", the "one day that'll change", the "but my grandchildren!"
I know by now that if I ever get married, it'll be a romantic or platonic thing, not sexual at all. We may adopt, but definitely no biological kids. And honestly, the marriage/dating thing is a giant if.
And yet, for all my talk of "yeah, dating just doesn't interest me" and "I'm not interested in people like that", all I get is side eyes of "oh she is definitely gay".
But no one confronts me.
No one goes, "are you gay?"
Because if they asked me, I'd probably say I'm pan.
Not ace. Pan. Because if I said I'm ace, they'd call it a phase. A late bloomer. "How can you tell if you've never dated?"
The same way a straight person knows they're not interested in the same gender without dating the same gender.
I just know, because it's who I am.
And I'd be out right now if I knew that I still have years to go before I can leave home/support myself on my own. Because I know deep down that I couldn't stand years of "are you out of your phase yet?", "are you dating yet?", and forced dates to try and prove me wrong.
I know they'll be asking the "are you dating yet?" anyway, but I can't stand the added looks for years if I came out.
I wish I could ask them about their thoughts on aces without making it sound weird. Maybe I'll figure something out, but still. I need to know so I can satisfied my curiosity.
Stay safe kiddos and remember that you're valid.
I love you all <3<3<3<3
~Ink
