Late Night Thoughts

Day 148

Tuesday, September 1, 2020

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So um, first impression of virtual school: I am 

A) over my head 

B) going to be a failure for the rest of my short life because let's be real are any of us making it to forty in this society?

C) ready to cry

D) terrified 

Trick question it was definitely e) all of the above.

!Before you ask what happened! 

This is what happened:

I start at 7:55am.

I get up at 6am, check in on here, eat breakfast, chill online for a bit, take a shower, get dressed, and have my mom cut my hair.

It's 7:07am.

I grab my phone, take pictures, do first day of school pictures for my mom, chill on my phone for a little bit, take down my pile of stuff to my desk, and get my water bottle filled.

It's 7:30am.

I chill on my phone for a while.

It's 7:45am when my sister and dad leave.

I have the house to myself.

School starts, I log in and submit my attendance for Band (my first class).

I write a little bit and play music while waiting for my next class to start.

Then suddenly Spanish is taking me forever and my chat groups for my classes is blowing up and I'm not doing great when suddenly it's History class and suddenly I have to watch a 14 minute video of her talking about barely anything.

Once I'm finally done with that class, it starts to hit home that on all the forms (oh yeah, google forms to tell my teachers about myself) I came out as using she/her and they/them pronouns or just they/them pronouns.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

But I'm fine, I spend half my lunch time cooking up chicken nuggets ( w o r t h. I t ) and I have some ketchup and an apple and I'm drinking water (sorta. It's there and I've drank from it). I write in between eating my lunch so um, only another month until I post a new Sanders Sides book! Should've been working on my current SS book but um.... let's ignore that.

Then I'm back to logging in my attendance and answering forms and scrolling through middle aged people's websites to try and get my bearings. 

Science is.... interesting...... I have the same teacher I had last year and let's just say it's gonna be awkward coming back and actually seeing her in person.

Math is rough, I had to watch five 3 minute videos of how to use a graphing calculator I've had for a year now (and would have been useful a year ago but not now when I've already done my learning curve). 

THEN IN COMES AP PSYCHOLOGY, JUST MESSING WITH MY HEAD UNTIL I EITHER WANT TO CRY OR QUIT ALL MY CLASSES AND ACCEPT MY LIFE AS A FAILURE. 

Aka I had to do a personality test (infp-t) which basically just read me my life story then, after reading through two word docs of info, had to make a poster presentation about myself, a person I dislike in a format I hate, to the class on Friday, talking in front of people yet another thing I hate. OH! And I had to show a picture of myself on the poster, which meant I spent ten minutes trying to find a picture of myself I don't hate immediately. I ended up with this:

EDIT: removed photo 

Someone please just kashoot me before I run out of the class screaming. (Jk jk jk..... unless you are available to fake a murder in that case let's do it)

And then I had to sign in for study hall.

Because...... I don't know why but I did have to.

Then I emptied and filled the dishwasher while ranting to myself before cleaning up, taking all my stuff back up to my room, and working on (and finishing) the poster (Adobe Spark). 

Sadly, apathy pop in for a bit and got me for an hour or two, but through the power of surfing Pinterest and watching YouTube videos it went away.

Still

First day, and I'm already being called out for not drinking enough water by my personality test, panicking over nothing, getting homework, and going emotionless for a couple hours. 

What a great track record, truly a good omen for the year ahead.

Oh and let's not forget, I feel like I disappointed my mom when I don't even know what I did and it's not like she'd say anything so um I'm feeling really emotionally secure right now yep totally....

Stay safe kiddos and treat yourself with music it helps.

Love you <3<3<3

~Ink