Day 133

28 5 17
                                    

Monday, August 17, 2020

~~~

It's hard, sometimes.

Knowing that any footstep up the stairs good be someone about to catch you

That every eager pound of a foot against wood and carpet could be the end of one of the few things keeping you sane

Scared that at any moment someone could just, open your door

Walk right in

And start yelling

I can't imagine what it may be like to just... not have that.

To have a family that doesn't enter right after a knock unless you literally scream at them

To know that when you say no, they'll respect that and won't force you along on whatever crazy trip they've come up with

To be able to say "I'm not comfortable with that" and not be forced to either give a good reason in their eyes or go along anyway


What's it like?

Does that even exist?


When did my dreams become "quiet little nook of the world all to myself that isn't just one room"?


How... how apathetic and tired of the world am I that just a small, simple life where I can just exist with proper boundaries is all I crave?

How broken down have I become for that to be my highest living goal?


Who.... what hurt me so bad that that's my dream?


People two generations back from me dreamed of being a millionaire.


How far have we fallen since then?


And how much farther do we have to fall?















Stay safe kiddos and please, take care of yourself.

I love you all <3<3<3

~Ink

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