~8~ Not so golden feeling

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*Edited: 1-24-2022*
Word count: 3954

~~~ August 2, 1777 ~~~
((Y/n)'s pov)

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My fingers ran nervously through my hair - pacing seemed to be my current goal in the middle of the dark living room lit only by the early morning light barely seeping in through the large window in the front.
A thin shall sat draped on my shoulders, covering my simple white nightgown.

I couldn't loose it.

My steps were small, my shoulders hanging in solemn thought of every tiny detail from the day prior — I had it then, I swear I had it then...

The sound of soft, padding footsteps snap me out of my thoughts as I look towards the entrance of the living room with a pained gaze - hugging myself as I place my thumb near my lips.
My breath was cold, shallow and hesitant with each exhale.

Lou peaks around the corner, her shoulders relaxing and her features were etched with calm worry. She steps forward, walking closer - her eyes dull with the sleep that entranced her lids to fall with concern.

"Are you alright? You left hours ago." She asks, stopping in front of me and her voice was another clear sign of her tired state.

"Sorry." My voice was soft, "I didn't keep you up, did I?" I ask and she exhales, her hand raising to rub the sleep from her eye.

"From worry? A little. You're acting off, is something wrong?"
Her green-brown gaze was kind, gentle; and yet I still tore mine to the floor, shrugging slightly as I bite my lip.
"...have you seen my pocket watch?" I ask in a timid tone and her brow twitches.

"Not recently. Have you misplaced it?"

I nod in a stiff response, finding my voice to be dry.
"I've checked most of the house twice- been up all night thinking about where it could be, and the only other place I can think of is near Parker's house."
I look up, my worry filled eyes falling on her frame as I step forward and take her left hand in mine - my free hand holding the edges of the shall and I shake my head.
"Please, you can't tell mother- or father; they have enough going on and I don't want them to be disappointed."

Her expression remains calm, shifting to one of sympathy and Lou lifts my chin, her brow furrowed just enough to show her thoughts as she seemingly studies each feature - her eyes remaining on mine momentarily.
"Have you been crying?" She asks, wiping my cheek with her thumb and my breathing stills at her observation.

I shake my head, drying any sign of her statement as my throat clears.
"No...I'm alright. Just worried about my watch."

"You're lying. Is something else bothering you too? You know you can tell me (y/n), and if you need me to keep it a secret, I can." She says, her hand moving to my shoulder and I suddenly felt guilty.

My gaze shifts elsewhere.
"I don't know how to explain it..." I say softly and she holds my hand.

"Take your time."
Her response sent a heartfelt meaning behind the three simple words.
A feeling of genuine care.

I swallow, trying to find a good way to explain myself.
"I know this week has been a lot to handle but...these past few days I've felt...off." My words were somewhat stale, forced with the feeling of being a burden to my older sibling, yet I continue on.
"I've felt like there's eyes on me- watching my every move. It's creeping me out and it's like I can't do most anything without messing up, and whenever I look for someone or something there's nothing there." I take a breath, a pained look on my face.
"I told Alex yesterday, and now he's acting differently- then this happens?"

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