Infatuation (King George III xreader)

~55~ Indecisive

*Edited: Proofreading.*
Word count: 4267

~~~ November 12, 1777 ~~~

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The sky was gray, clouded and dull.
The streets of the city outside being painted a darker and more sleek version of itself by the droplets of water that fell from their place in the sky above.

Everything felt cold, lifeless.

My head felt the same in a way - foggy and unclear as I let my mind process all the male had told me.

I had been the same way for about two days, trying my best to be there for George while going over the difficult, emotional information - taking it in.

My gaze falls on the rain covered window, watching as the water raced down the pane of glossy, yet hard to see through glass and I take a breath, loosely hugging myself before bringing my left hand up to my mouth and resting my thumb on my bottom lip.

My chest falls slowly as I exhale and take a small step back, calmly turning on my heel and walking back towards the dressing screen with bare feet as I continued my unfocused pacing in front of the warm, lit fireplace and the company of its soft crackling.

Once again I calmly turn and tap my bottom lip with my thumb, walking back towards the bed as I tried to ignore the constricting, closed in feeling that caused a small pain in the back of my head -
I let my head fall as I stop in my place, my brow furrowed as I gently hit my forehead with the palm of my hand and a heavy sigh leaves my lips as my fingers move up to tangle themselves in my hair.

For two days I let the thoughts linger in my head, my feelings on the male mixing like a body of disturbed water and I couldn't help but feel torn.

My heart, emotions, and my mind now felt as if they were against me.

I draw in and hold a breath, my hand combing through my hair and resting on the back of my neck, resisting the urge to scream my frustrations - mainly knowing that would only make my head hurt more and bring unwanted attention.

I then crack open my eyes, looking up at the ceiling as an idea I knew was stupid enters my mind.

I sigh quietly, pulling my eyes away from the ceiling - turning my gaze towards the door, and more so the wall next to it.
I turn, loosely hugging myself as I shake my head and walk towards it.

The feeling of the cool floor beneath my feet sends a shiver up my spine with each calm step.

I stop in front of the wall, looking at it as if I was watching it closely.

My hands brush against the fabric of my dress, lifting a small section on the front as I take a breath and lift my right foot to rest behind my left, all while going over how stupid, ridiculous, and reckless my next choice actions were going to be.

"If you can't make the pain go away..." I mumble, trying to rationalize my decision as I lift my right leg a little higher behind me and exhale.
"then distract youself from it."

I push away the hesitant feeling holding me back, swinging my leg forward as I lightly kick the wall - and the room remains silent.
I puff out my cheeks for a moment, biting the inside as my brow furrows and I close my eyes before bringing my leg back once again.
My hands squeeze the fabric of my dress, and without wasting a moment I swing my leg forward once again, hitting the wall harder than before as a sudden 'thud' sounds throughout the room — pain shot through my toes and up my calf.