Finally Yours: The Sequel | Trey Songz & Kelly Rowland

• epilogue •

Kelly
*4 months later*
Friday, July 31
Atlanta, Georgia

"That was a nice service."

"Yeah, it was beautiful to see everyone come together for the burial."

"Kinda makes you not so sad when you see how much the person was loved."

"Mhm... And even though they'll be missed, they're in a much better place and watching over us, like a guardian angel."

"What do you think heaven is like, Blue?"

"Paradise. There's no worries, troubles, pain or suffering so everyone is always at peace. Sorta like a permanent vacation. It sounds great to me, but I would totally miss all my family and friends on earth if I went there."

"Well you could always like visit them in their dreams and stuff right?"

"I mean yeah, but it's not the same. A piece of you will always be missing after you lose someone you love because they're not here with you physically. But even with all that, they'll always be in your heart."

I've been trying to keep it together all morning for this funeral but hearing Blue and Kiara talking about it right now just made me completely fall apart.

"Awwwww mommy... I'm so sorry." Kiara said, looking at me sympathetically and hugging me. "Everything's going to be okay, promise. You still have me, TJ and the twins..."

"Dang, so you just gon leave me out?" I heard Trey say from behind us.

"I was gonna get to you eventually, gosh." Kiara joked. "You didn't let me finish going down the list."

"Oh iight, that's what I thought." he joked back. "But I'll take it from here Keeks, thanks babygirl."

He took me into his arms and just let me cry while rubbing my back soothingly. "I'm here for you baby."

My mother unexpectedly passed away from a heart attack last week and I've been a wreck ever since. I thought I would be somewhat okay by the time of the funeral and I was at first, but now that she has been officially laid to rest all of my grief was coming back tenfold.

"This is all my fault. I didn't check on her enough. I never visited her, she always came to me and that was only for special occasions. I should've moved her out to LA so I could take care of her but I didn't and now she's gone. I didn't even get to say goodbye..."

I've been beating myself up about this like crazy. In my eyes, this could've been avoided if I was more consistent with helping my mother maintain her health. I was supposed to make sure she was eating right, keeping her blood pressure under control, going to all her doctor's appointments and taking her medicine. I didn't prioritize her enough and because of that, I lost her.

"Kelly please do not blame yourself. This wasn't something anyone could've predicted, especially since she seemed fine the last time you spoke to her. I know this is going to be hard but her spirit will always be with you. She's looking down at you right now and proud of the amazing, strong woman she raised."

"I'm not strong at all. I can't do this, I really need her." I choked out.

"She knows you do, which is why you will feel her presence constantly and she'll be protecting you. God may have called her home but she'll still take care of you while she's up there."

"I just don't understand why this had to happen. It wasn't her time! I know everything happens for a reason but this right here... I don't get it!"

"Truth be told, I don't get it either. Hopefully it'll become clear one day. For now, just know that you don't have to go through this alone. You have so many people who love you and will be there for you, myself included. Anything you need, I got you."