More Than Just A Friend (A Bruno Mars Fan Fic)

Chapter 93

Fri

3 days later

She feels relieved when Bruno leaves the family room and closes the door behind him and Martha asks her, how are you Leila and Leila looks at Martha and wonders how she's going to tell her what she needs to tell her without sounding like she's crazy but she has to and she tells Martha, not great, I feel twisted up inside, what happened is still eating away at me, i'm sick of crying over anything and nothing and I don't know how much longer I can hide how i'm feeling from Bruno, I just want to make him happy, I want to feel and look like myself again, I want me and Bruno to get back to how we were and Martha tells her, you've been through a traumatic experience and you have to heal from the damage from that, you might never be quite how you used to be Leila, it's going to take time to heal mentally, emotionally and physically from what you've been through and Martha asks her, have you and Bruno talked about what we talked about last Friday and Leila shrugs and tells Martha, yes, we talked about everything on Saturday, it eased some of my guilt and cleared the air between us, then it all kind of went to shit on Tuesday and Martha asks her, do you want to talk about it and Leila closes her eyes and tells Martha, I need to, but you can't tell Bruno what I tell you today and Martha tells her, what you tell me stays between us, unless you give me permission to tell Bruno like you did last week and Leila breathes a sigh of relief and tells Martha, good, because he can't know this, it would only worry him more and Leila takes a deep breath and tells Martha what happened on Tuesday and how it made her feel.

She wipes her tears away with her fingers and Martha tells her, from what you've told me Leila, Tuesday was a rough day for you, you're too critical of yourself and you have to stop putting yourself down and hiding how you're feeling from Bruno to stop him worrying about you is putting more pressure on yourself when you have enough to deal with, you have to stop focusing on Bruno and putting him before yourself and concentrate on you and getting better and Leila laughs a little and tells Martha, I don't think I can do that, he's my world and Martha asks her, how do you feel about what happened on Tuesday now and Leila smiles sadly and tells Martha, I still feel embarrassed and ashamed, I haven't been able to look Bruno in the eyes since he saw me coming out of the bathroom after my shower with just a towel wrapped around my body, I could see he was shocked to see me like that and what killed me was the pity in his eyes, no woman wants their man to look at them with pity, I told Bruno that I was an ugly bag of bones and he can deny it all he wants to make me feel better, but he knows it's true now, I don't know how he can bare to look at me or touch me and Martha tells her, Bruno loves you Leila that's why and he sees what I see and that's that you're still beautiful, it's only you who doesn't see that and Leila swallows hard and asks Martha, do you know that little voice in your head that sometimes asks you if you're sure about a decision you've made or something you're about to do or encourages you to do something that you're not sure about but you want to but you're scared to do it and Martha tells her, yes and Leila looks away from Martha and tells her, well, the little voice in my head has become a nasty little fucker, I couldn't fight it or ignore it in Mexico, I didn't even try to, but i've been trying hard to ignore it since I came home, it tells me that i'm not good enough or pretty enough for Bruno anymore and i'm nothing but a burden to him now and he'd be better off without me and I should... and Leila swallows hard and closes her eyes and Martha asks her, you should what and Leila looks at Martha and tells her tearfully, it tells me that I should finish what I started in Mexico, but I won't do that, I don't want to do that, not now, even though Bruno doesn't trust me to keep the promise that I made to him not to try to kill myself again, i'm going to prove to him that he can trust me not to do that, I want to spend the rest of my life with him and Martha asks her, do you have any thoughts about hurting yourself and Leila shakes her head no and tells Martha, none and Martha looks relieved and tells her, good, talk to Bruno or call me or hum or sing or think about good things about yourself when you have those bad thoughts and Martha asks her, has there been anything good that's happened since I saw you last week.