GENERAL X (Author's Reco)

The Chosen One

JENNIE

Months have passed and I already forgave her for what she did to me before I left SoKor for Germany. I was hurt. I knew that that slamming of the door was unintentional. But what hurt me was her being so selfish that day. It was our first fight as married couple actually.

I always give myself to her whenever she wants to have sex with me. I am not even complaining because I want it too as much as she wants. But just on that day, I asked for a rest because I need to catch my flight. She made me feel I am only a fucking machine. I thought she would understand my job. As much as I want to have sex with her all the time, my body is also wanting to have a break. Jesus, I am just a human being and not a robot.

She never stopped apologizing to me when I came back. I forgave her. She didn't cease to make me feel she loves me. So who am I to disregard those? I am in love with Lisa and everyone reading this knows that for sure.

But here we are again. Every time we make love, we can't get away the fact that I am still not getting pregnant. Lisa went to her Doctor again and I accompanied her. All the tests were okay. So what is wrong with us? Do we make sure she hit the right spot when coming? Of course! We make sure we come together and she fills me deeply.

My actions towards Lisa were back to normal. Like how we really were. I am sweet and loving to her and I always see to it that she eats healthy and takes her vitamins regularly. I give her the pampering she needs when she gets home and I just do my part as her wife the best way I can.

But lately, I noticed she's the one being cold to me. What is happening? I always asked her but she just tells me she's tired and stressed again from work. This is unusual because before even if she is upset because of work, she never failed to make me feel she loves me.

But now, sometimes she'll sleep without hugging nor kissing me anymore. But I understand how she feels especially every after operation. Lisa is the one cleaning up the mess in our country and it's not only her body that does the job. It's her great mind that works too hard for the safety of everybody.

LISA

I was at the grocery with Jennie when I saw this couple our age carrying a baby with them. I really felt sad. I mean, yeah I am happy that they are complete. But why Jennie and I are struggling to have a baby of our own? There's nothing wrong with us. Fuck.

Is it because I am always stress from work?

Anyway, I am just happy that Jennie's treatment towards me came back to normal. But I always feel sad every time she tells me she has a period. Another month we failed to have a child again. Sometimes I would tease my wife that my dick isn't magical because I can't make her pregnant. It really makes me sad whenever Jennie talk about her plans when we have our own baby already. Or every time I see her staring on some children we passed by through.

But one thing I am so lucky about my wife is, she thinks positively. She always makes me relax my mind. She is still hoping that we will have our own baby in God's perfect time.

But.

I feel useless. I want to make my wife happy. I want us to be parents of a cute little Jennie and strong lil Lisa. You know what I mean, I always fantasize of carrying my own child in my arms. I always imagine going home and watching Jennie breastfeeding our baby. Sometimes I would just make a scene in my mind changing the clothes of our little one.

I am thinking of taking a leave again and deciding where to bring Jennie again for another month. Paris? Thailand? Palawan? China? Amsterdam? Ohhhhhh. I searched this beautiful Coron, Palawan in the Philippines. Maybe we should spend a month there!