Blackstone

Love, Mom

Greyson

I can't remember the last time I felt so helpless.

Every night for the past week I've had to listen to my daughter silently cry to herself, hiding it from me so I won't worry. I had to make arrangements for a woman who I told over and over I hated, not knowing that all the horrible things I told her would follow her to the grave.

Bianca wanted to be cremated so that Scarlett would have her close, instead of traveling to a graveyard and only visited once a year. Even in death, despite her being distant and terrible, she wanted to be as close as possible to Scarlett.

The urn she had custom made was almost ready, it was depressing she even had to chose one, it was more depressing she knew to chose one and didn't let anyone know. Not even her child to say goodbye while she was alive.

So yes, I hated Bianca more than usual, but Scarlett was the one who is truly suffering through all of this.

"Mom said donuts make you bloat up like a balloon." Scarlett says, staring at the donuts I bought this morning for her breakfast.

I've tried everything to get her to eat something, all week I had my chef prepare delicious meals but she would just pick at it. I was hoping a sugary treat would make her take a bite of something.

I push aside my apprehension and smile. "Well I ate two...do I look like a balloon?"

"No." She says, coldly.

I clear my throat. "You want to go anywhere today, maybe get some new clothes? I know your mom would be happy to know your closet exceeds into my own."

"No, I just want to be in my room if that's okay." She looks up at me.

I nod. "Of course, tell me if you need anything okay?"

"Okay dad." Scarlett walks away and heads into her bedroom.

Before I slump onto the couch and lose my mind, my door bell rang. I walked towards the door and opened it, behind it were Hudson and Father. They've been coming over a lot recently to help out, Father tries to cheer Scarlett up and even a man like him can only get a glimpse of a smile out of her.

Hudson drinks with me so I'm not alone doing it.

"She's in her room again, isn't she?" Hudson asks, as he walks in.

I nod. "Yeah."

"Well today I've brought my A-Game, I will make her laugh." Father stands tall, prepared for battle.

I shake my head. "We should just leave her alone, I don't want to push her away or bother her."

"Greyson," Father stops in the hallway and looks at me. "remember when your mother was tragically taken from us?"

I frown. "Are you trying to make us all gloomy?"

"For weeks you wanted to be alone, you went on your hiatuses and locked us all out." He continues. "I wasn't a good father then so I didn't know until I saw Walter do it, but it was a school day and you went inside the town car. Walter told some strange story about his wife and you laughed."

I cross my arms. "So you bring up my dead mother and a man who I trusted, that almost killed you and had the love of my life tainted? Where is this going?"

"Shut up, you idiot." He scowls. "You hadn't smiled or laughed for weeks, you didn't eat or anything. You were a shell. But when Walter made you laugh that's when I saw the life come back in your eyes. After that I'm not saying it was easy but instead of living in sadness, you opened up to life. I'm not saying Scarlett needs a laugh and she'll be fixed, but she needs light in a dark time, before it consumes her. And I want to do what I couldn't for you, for her."