Thorny Roses || YeonBin/TaeGyu/YeonGyu/SooKai AU✔

chapter 41

The sun had fully arisen when Yeonjun woke up, greeting him with its beaming rays that splendidly descended upon his face, making it glow under their illumination. The pink haired boy stretched his body, yawning a bit as his eyes fluttered open, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion when he didn't see Beomgyu beside him. He leaned on his elbow and lifted his body up as he scanned over the room, not catching slight of the younger male, so he just assumed that he had gone to his own room or downstairs.

Yeonjun pulled the blanket off his body and got off the bed. He headed to his bathroom immediately to take a quick shower, so his mind would be refreshed afterwards since only sleep without his medications was never enough for him to relax properly, he still always felt tired no matter how much sleep he got, so shower was something that used to make his exhaustion a bit easier. He was feeling much better when he finally turned off the water and wrapped the pink towel around his body. He walked back into his room again and picked his high waisted jeans and stripped crop top from his wardrobe, putting them on lazily and then brushing his pink locks. Yeonjun sat down in front of his mirror afterwards and applied some make up, painting his eyelids a light shade of black and decorating his pouty lips with his pink lip gloss. He got on his feet after he was done and decided to head downstairs, but he suddenly caught a glimpse of a paper on his nightstand which he hadn't noticed before.

The pink haired boy frowned as he slowly approached his nightstand and hesitantly took the paper, his heart racing at noticing that it was a letter, a rush of fear crossing his body as he felt that something was definitely off. He slowly sat on the edge of his bed as his eyes stayed fixed on the letter, reading the first words curiously-

'Dear Yeonjun, my best best friend'

Yeonjun's heart rate increased even more at those words, knowing there was nothing in the letter that would be appealing to him. He was afraid to death, feeling his breath hitching in his throat, but still continued reading the letter, no matter how hard it was for him, tears building up in his eyes more and more at every word-

' When you read this letter, I will already be far away, I guess. I don't want to hurt you by that more than I already have, but i have no other way. I need to be alone for some time to learn how to control myself without getting rid of my implant because I need it for finding my love. I'm so sorry that I'm leaving you like that but I'm afraid that I will harm you if I stay there any longer. I know that my actions were saying the opposite very often but I want you to know that I love you very much and I care for you, i always have. I'm sorry for every pain you ever had to go through because of me, I'm sorry that I couldn't return everything you were giving me. I was always weak for that but I promise I will get better, I'll become stronger for the sake of you and Taehyun because you two are the only persons who have been with me throughout the whole life and helped me in resisting every difficulty that would stand on my path. Don't worry about me, that's the only thing I'm asking you for. I'll be alright, I promise. Please respect my decision and don't look for me, I need to find him, hyung, because I'll never forgive myself if I leave him in pain. Please, open your heart for someone else because I don't deserve it, don't suffer yourself and take away the possibility of being happy from yourself, please, I beg you.
I'll miss you very much, but I hope that time will pass quickly and I'll manage to see you again.

Yours faithfully

Choi Beomgyu '

Hot liquid was flowing down Yeonjun's face and dripping on the paper, soaking the words in painful tears, expressing nothing but unbearable feeling of hurt that was stabbing every of his organs. Oxygen was being carried off his lungs as the boy kept panting, hardly letting out small sobs that were getting lost in the cool atmosphere, in invisible air. His mind was getting dizzy as he kept denying everything he had just read, his head slowly shaking from side to side. His eyes were still locked to the paper while more tears kept filling them up, making the words blurry. He was feeling like he was in dream, because everything seemed more than unbelievable to him. There had never been even a day they had spent without living in the same house before and now he was discovering that he would not be able to see him for a very long time again, or maybe forever. He was terrified because he knew he wouldn't manage to take that pain which was too strong for him, for his weakened body. He wouldn't survive that agony which was taking his breath away and making him want to close his eyes and never see the ruthless world again.