Thorny Roses || YeonBin/TaeGyu/YeonGyu/SooKai AU✔

chapter 66

The glimmering sky shone over the blue haired male as kept sprinting forward aggressively, begging for the wind to blow his feelings away, but vainly since his body kept getting more heavy every second, making it difficult for him to move. He came to a halt after he had walked several meters, his hands shaking terribly as he tried to fight the huge ball which was stuck in his throat and making him breathless. His lungs kept filling with extremely hot air which was causing him to feel like he was dying, but his heart still kept beating exceedingly hard, longing to break through his chest and get free while seething blood throbbed inside his head. His trembling hands quickly ran over his face as he tried to soothe his nerves, but they seemed to agitate even more, bringing tears to his eyes. He didn't want it to happen and didn't mean to hurt Yeonjun over again, but things just got out of his hands when the older started judging him and he couldn't just help talking out loud whatever crossed his mind even though he meant neither of those words, not even a single one of them. It hurt too much to take, knowing in how much pain the older boy was right now and Soobin hated himself, more than ever. He felt more disgusted of himself now than even when his abuser was touching him in inappropriate ways years ago. He wanted to throw up when he remembered his own words, his stomach kept twisting but nothing came out of his mouth besides a choked sob which got jabbed in his throat.

His vision was blurry from the tears that kept filling his eyes, making the environment even darker for him. He wiped them quickly as he suddenly turned back and ran into the direction where he left the older boy minutes ago. He would never manage to forgive himself if he left him in that unbearable pain now, maybe sometimes he was a coldhearted monster exactly like his adoptive father, but at least he couldn't keep ignoring the pain of the person he loved any longer. He never wanted to admit the feelings he had for Yeonjun, but his arrogance was suffocating him more than his love. He was torturing not only Yeonjun like that, but himself too because nothing hurt more than seeing his loved one in that devastated condition, especially when he remembered that Yeonjun had tried to kill himself. What if he attempted to do the same again?

When he was already back, there was nothing besides the emptiness which was swirling in the atmosphere gloomily. The last traces of the pink haired boy were dying away painfully, filling the lonely boy standing under the luminous sky with darkness, his organs swimming in grief. His knees went straight to the ground, his nostrils inhaling the sweet scent of his love which still circulated faintly in the air, making him even more hurt. It felt like a huge rock was hung on his heart, turning his insides too heavy to bear. Tears cascaded down his flushed cheeks like waterfall as he closed his eyes and heaved as shaky breath, but the oxygen only suffocated him more, causing him to cough as he choked from his sobs. A black invisible blanket wrapped him up in its embrace as he cried bitterly, his own horrendous guilt eating his organs like a hungry beast which was making him bleed inside. He knew he had done and said something which would never be fixed, no matter how hard he would try. He wanted nothing more than just to hug the pink haired boy as strongly as possible and kiss his scars away. He wanted to abolish his every pain so bad that it hurt him like hell, feeling like someone was grabbing his throat and knocking the entire air out of his lungs. Now he was the one who was waiting for him to come back. He was sitting there in silence, not even moving a single muscle as he stared meaninglessly into the space with bloodshot eyes which reflected his unbearable pain the best, but Yeonjun wasn't appearing, not even a shadow of him, causing the last sparks of hope extinguish in Soobin's body as a huge fear replaced it, fear of losing him forever.

The bright sun started appearing on the horizon in a couple of hours, falling upon the silver haired boy's face and waking him up, his face muscles twisting when he felt a terrible pain throbbing in his head. He was exactly in the same position in which he fell asleep with the blonde male last night, but he didn't even have time to enjoy waking up next to him since his head was feeling like it was going to explode anytime soon. He placed his hand on his head and rolled over to lay on his back, his lips letting out a little whine as he locked his pain only inside his head since he didn't want the younger male to suffer from it too. He got up into a sitting position and placed his jacket fully on Taehyun's body, grabbing the phone afterwards which was set under the tree since he was curious why Soobin and Yeonjun hadn't contacted them. He groaned heavily when he saw that it was dead, knowing they would have much difficulty with finding them like that. He threw the phone away and looked around now to spot water since he knew it would make him feel better, but it was nowhere in sight nearby. Fortunately, soon Taehyun woke up too and for the first time after so many years, he was greeted by the bright light of the sun immediately which was completely enough to make him feel alive instantly. Beomgyu grinned widely when he saw him pressing his eyes with his knuckles, his insides warming up at seeing how endearing he looked.