Hope Beyond The Lies [ATTACK ON TITAN OC FANFICTION]

2.3 A Traitor's Convictions

Bertolt was the first to break our gaze, turning his head to the direction of where their voices came from. Somehow, each other's comfort gave the two of us newfound strength and confidence with ourselves. 

"T-tell me...WHO THE HELL WOULD WANT TO KILL PEOPLE BY THEIR OWN CHOICE?!", he shouted back at them with eyes begging for forgiveness. "I didn't want to do this!!!" 

My heart. My heart breaks for him. My heart breaks for them. None of this -none of the things they did were done by their own volition. They were simply just tools used by the other side of this battle and nothing more. If we all stood on the same side of this struggle, their actions would've been praised and justified by everyone here. 

Still, no one understands that and I don't really blame them for it. Its hard to look at things from a different angle when you're blinded by your own grief, specially when you're trying to look at things from the perspective of the very person who caused it. 

"People hate us, they despise us....  and I know that we deserve to die!", I tightened my grip on his hand, letting him know that I do not agree with his words. Still, he continued on with his words. "We have done so many things that we cant take back but- but we just can't come to terms with our sins!", he then looked back at me. 

"The only time when we actually had a breath of relief was when we became soldiers. We were able to laugh, we were able to make friends and..", he gave my hand a small squeeze, " and even fall in love". 

I hiccup, a small smile crawling to my lips through the tears that coated my face which he saw before looking back at them. 

"Alll of those things -all of those moments were true! Connie, Jean, we may have deceived you but its not all a lie! We truly did consider you as comrades! Neither of us have any right to apologize because I know it isn't enough and it never will be...", he trailed off. "But someone..please...find us!"

Silence coated the atmosphere the moment he finished that sentence. I just hope and pray that they understand what he meant, that they can feel his sincerity cause I can both physically and emotionally feel it, from his sweaty and trembling palms to the heartache that his words are giving me. 

"Bertolt", all of my senses were suddenly shot awake the moment I heard Mikasa's voice. "Give Eren back" 

The dark aura that was laced within her tone lingered in the atmosphere as my eyes turned to Eren whose eyes were focused on my and Bertolt's intertwined hands. 

"Its no use -I can't do it", he answered. "Someone has to do this. Someone has to be the one to stain their hands with blood and I'm sorry for dragging Riza into this. She means well and it hurts me to have you all to start blaming her but please know that this is my first and final selfish request!"

"If I were to survive this or not, I just want to have her beside me", he subtly glances towards my direction. "For as long as I'm able to"  

I heard my very own heartbeat as my eyes welled up once more. "And I'm not going anywhere" 

"I swear, Riza if you also turn out to be a traitor. I will forget that we were even friends in the first place for Eren's sake!"

I turned my head to the direction of Mikasa's voice.  

"I know that you can understand what I am doing, you would've done the same thing for Eren! Just like you, I'm willing to go above and beyond for the person I care about the most! ", I reasoned back. Besides, I wouldn't let anything bad happen to him. I will do everything in my power to ensure Eren's own safety. Please, just trust me on this Mikasa. 

I can feel the rage and desperateness from her. "Stop involving Eren in your schemes, Riza! If you stand in my way again then I apologize for I value Eren more than you!"