Hope Beyond The Lies [ATTACK ON TITAN OC FANFICTION]

Chapter 46: Where I Stand

The dry air brushed against my skin, caressing my cheek with its cold air. The scene on top of the walls isn't something I would stare at amazement with -or anyone for that matter. Standing here, I got a whole and better view of the aftermath of everything that took place here. Again, just as always, everything happened in a speed of light.

All the soldiers were scattered to do their individual tasks, while I and some of the cadets stood by to wait for their orders. I stood over the ledge, my arms crossed against my chest with a frown engraved across my face. Yes, we were saved but this isn't exactly the time to rejoice.

I tipped my head to a bit to see Reiner struggling to climb the wall from the corner of my eye and Eren volunteered to take his hand and hoist him up. My eyes caught sight of his new arm sling and I couldn't be more bothered with the fact that the two of us have to pretend to be injured.

I shook my head and sighed, redirecting my gaze to the mess at least 50 meters below us and by us -I meant Mikasa and I, she's also enjoying the view. Note the sarcasm.

Do you know that feeling of being in a very tall place and you get the sudden urge to jump? That's what I'm feeling right now. 

"Move back a little Riza, you're leaning forward too much" Mikasa says, placing a hand on the space in front of me. I blinked, only now noticing that the tip of my foot is no longer on concrete.  I gulped, taking a few steps back and deciding to quit staring at the ruins. There's really nothing to look at, just a bunch of evaporating titan corpses, grass stained with blood and a building in shambles -y'know, the usual stuff you get to see in the Survey Corps.

So I walked around, seeing people go about their way to attend to their roles. Some people were busy with Ymir while Krista is conversing with Hanji, probably asking for a lengthy report. Not long did I gave up on suppressing my boredom and just decided to stop walking around and just look up -look up to the sky, even if its cloudy and dark. 

Just by being this tall above ground, I can see the birds passing by us. I feel that if I outstretch my hand upwards, I just might as well be able to touch the sky,  but we all know that its not how reality works at all. I sighed. If only it was just that easy.

"Tell him Armin! Tell him how many times I have been crushed by a titan's hand", I flinched and turned my attention back to Reiner who is shouting at Armin for validation. 

I hesitantly took a few steps towards them and took note of the fact that they captured everyone's attention. Talk about keeping serious conversations in hushed tones. I swear, he's the worst with secret keeping.

Tension effortlessly wrapped itself around the group. It made a strong chill to run down my spine and a weird contorting feeling to envelope my stomach. I bit my lip, drawing conclusions about where the conversation might go to.

"That makes it two times when I nearly died. At this rate I'll be dead before I know it" Reiner says, his brows furrowing. "I picked this path on my own, but being a soldier is rough" he added. 

I couldn't help but agree with him. This job we chose is draining us in every aspect of life. It takes up so much time and it is stressful beyond compare. Yet all that the same time, I don't regret it. I don't regret being a soldier at all.

"Its like a soldier's spirit breaks down first before his body" 

I nodded even though I know that they can't see me from my position. I'm basically on their blind spot.

"But until we plug up this wall, there's no whining about it" he continues, looking down at the view from under us with a saddened yet guarded expression.