Hope Beyond The Lies [ATTACK ON TITAN OC FANFICTION]

Chapter 10: Red Flower

The sun shined through the glass pane, I was lucky they agreed to give me the bed next to the window. The cold night prevented me from going out. There was no way in hell I'm going to freeze to death, I'd like to die a noble death, not hypothermia or whatever that could happen to me out there. 

I groaned, stretching my arms, looking outside where snow no longer fell. The blizzard was over, thank goodness for that. The sunrise was also beautiful earlier, I was happy to see the snow glisten underneath its gaze, even though I watched it from the window, it was enough to satisfy me. 

It's still early, what should I do? I could sleep again, but I don't feel like sleeping at all. 

What are they doing?

I stared at the officers as they got out of the cabin, they were pulling a wagon with them and they have a few shovels in their hand. I observed carefully and a thought surfaced inside my head and my breath hitched when I was hit with realization. 

I immediately grabbed my coat and got dressed as fast as I can, grabbed my thickest jacket on the rack and dashed out of my room to the hallway until I reached the lockers. I entered my combination and grabbed my boots and wore them, hurriedly running out of the cabin after I was done. 

"Wait!" I shouted after them. They turned to me as they were just about to dig.

To dig his grave.

"Cadet Armsel, you're awake" An officer said. Facing me as he held a shovel. I ignored the officer as my eyes were focused on the wagon and its contents. 

A white sheet covering something very familiar to my eyes. I didn't need to ask them to know what they were about to do, but I still asked anyway, a little ounce of hope in my chest surfaced and crossed my fingers, internally begging to get the answer I wanted. 

"What are you doing?" I asked with a shaky voice, hoping that my suspicions were false.

Somehow I know that I wasn't going to get my wanted answer, that when they did confirm my suspicion, I would shatter into a million pieces only to forcefully glue myself back together again. 

It's happening again. 

"As you know, Cadet Kurt Richenson from your squad died from hypothermia, we're simply digging his grave to bury him" Another officer said.

Why am I still surprised? I know that they were about to do that, but why did my heart just fell when I heard it out of their mouths? I simply can't accept the fact that lives can be taken in such a simple and quick way, one second he was here talking to me about his home land and then the next, he was unconscious. 

To think of it, anything can kill you. That's just how weak we are, even the medicine that's supposed to cure us can end your life. 

"Can I help you?" I spoke up, I was internally asking myself if I was crazy or if I just really love inflicting emotional pain upon myself. They looked at me with shocked expressions while I remained deadpan, at least I tried to pull off one. He handed me a shovel and I started digging.

I hate this. Why am I doing this again? What did I brought myself to do? Gosh, I really hate myself. I must sound like a crazy person in my head, but doesn't everyone? I seriously should start going to therapy, maybe the doctors can help me not cliff jump to insanity. 

One we managed to dig a 6 feet hole, we climbed out of it, it was hard having to dig on snow and dirt at the same time, makes me wish that I didn't volunteer. I dropped the shovel harder than I should have and I ran back inside the cabin. After a few minutes, I came out with a red paper in my hand, I started folding as they lowered his body.