'where we are now' remus lupin & regulus black

What you know

"Maybe next year, I'll have no time, to think about the questions to address. Am I the one to try to stop the fire? I wouldn't test you, I'm not the best you could have attained. Why try anything? Just remember, I know. And I can tell just what you want, you don't want to be alone, you don't want to be alone. And I can't say it's what you know, but you've known it the whole time,"

The courtyard buzzes with the excitement pouring from students. Yesterday, snow began to coat the ground and it hasn't stopped since. It's not unheard of, snow in Mid-November. Just unpredictable. I don't like unpredictable.

I watch as Lily tilts her head back, laughing. Alice Fortescue has just hit her with a snowball and the white flecks contrast perfectly against her vibrant red hair. A few other girls I don't know join in on the fight and I'm overcome with white-hot jealousy.

"Just say hello," Remus urges from behind me.

It's been two weeks since we made our agreement to meet every other day and continue our "lessons". He's taught me some of his extensive knowledge on Werewolves along with potions material when he see's fit.

Somehow, every other day just didn't give us enough time to discuss everything we would want to talk about. In these fleeting days, I've realized I want to be around Remus and i'm no longer doing it to make use of his friendship with Lily. That's why i've asked him to accompany me on my walk to class.

"I—No." I respond pulling my scarf tighter around my neck.

"I'm getting real sick of your cowardice." he admonishes. He has a point, he's been trying to get me to talk to her all week.

I groan and turn to face him, "Sorry we can't all be recklessly brave Gryffindorks."

"I resent that, you know?" He huffs, jamming his hands into his pocket. When he does this his shoulders raise slightly and slump forward because his arms are too long, his posture is terrible.

"And why's that?" I query.

"You're a Ravenclaw. You come from the notorious house of dorks." He says matter-of-factly.

"Hmm...but I'm far from a dork."

"True." He hesitates to admit.

I smile feeling accomplished, he usually wins when we bicker. The other three Marauders strut through the courtyard on their way over to the group of girls. I hold in a scoff at the way they carry themselves; like they own the whole bloody school.

I look back to Remus and see his eyes following a specific one longingly. I guess they haven't sorted their priorities out yet.

The look Remus is holding on his face is familiar, it's the face Iris tries so hard to mask when she knows Amos is with another girl.

Clearing my throat loudly, I begin to trudge forward. "Let's go, don't want to be late."

When there's no sound of snow crunching behind me I turn, and am met with a snowball to the forehead.

"YOU GIT!" I bellow while collecting some of the white fluff in my hands.

Remus begins stumbling backwards away from me, "Why did you turn!? I was aiming for the back of you!" he defends.

"That doesn't make it better!" I shout.

Winding up, I throw the snowball I just formed with all my force. It whizzes right past him, missing by a mile. It wasn't a complete waste of efforts though, I managed to hit Severus square in the shoulder.

I look at Remus.

He looks at me.

We suddenly erupt into laughter.

"You poor, aimless, little wolf." He taunts. I flip him the middle finger which only seems to add fuel to the fire. He continues to stand planted in place, doubled over, laughing.

A minute later, Remus wipes the tears from his eyes as he re-approaches, "Now we can go."

☽☽☽

My head smacks against the desk for the third time this period. Professor Binns scolds me for falling asleep and goes back to teaching the most pointless class of all. History of magic.

Iris giggles from her seat besides me and I glare daggers at her.

"How was the walk with Remus?" she asks wiggling her brows.

"Good." I reply.

She pouts, "You're no fun. I'm sick of you never giving me details about your life anymore!"

"Fine," I surrender, "He told me to talk to Lily, I said no, then he hit me in the face with a snowball."

I purposely leave out the bit where Remus eyed Sirius sadly.

"I don't think it will ever be romantic though." I attest. I mean, how could it be? It's safe to assume i'm not even in the ballpark of his type. However, Amos did mention he shagged Dorcas.

"Awh, you have a crushhhh." She coo's.

"I do not!" I reply too quickly.

Iris smirks, "Don't be daft, yes you do." I huff.

"Liking someone and having a crush are completely different things." She whispers.

"How?" I question wryly.

"GIRLS! Do you have something you would like to share with the rest of the class?" Professor Binns voice booms.

"Uh no, Sir, we're quite alright. Thanks." I smile up to the ghost. He mutters something about basic respect under his breath as he floats away.

"Liking someone suggest you have real feelings attached," she glances to see if Binns is still watching us, "A crush only means an intense but short-lived desire"

My leg bounces as I mull it over.
The easygoing nature of Remus and I's friendship could be chalked up to missing a childhood mate. But, the strong urge to jump his bones has to be something else entirely.

"When did you get so wise about relationships?"

"When I started reading Cosmopolitan." She responds.

I chuckle but my mind begins to feel heavy and my thoughts are racing at an unfathomable speed.

Sirius Black has detested my existence since we met. More specifically, when Remus and I got close.

Now that Remus and I are talking again they have a falling out?

Remus doesn't tell his friends where he goes when he meets with me, he tells them he has 'prefect duties'.

Do they dislike me so much he has to lie or is it another reason? One with grey eyes that shags anything that can walk?

I want to ask Remus myself but we aren't friends enough. I don't want to make the mistake of overestimating our relationship so soon. He could still easily change his mind about helping me or find out I'm more trouble than I'm worth. What happens when he chooses them over me again? It won't come as a surprise or even be unjustified. It's just going to sting a little.

To protect my own feelings, I'll call him at most, a mere comrade.

Another one bc I felt bad 😀.

What'd you think?

Song: what you know by two door cinema club (linked at top)