'where we are now' remus lupin & regulus black

Change (In the house of flies)

"Now you feel so alive. I've watched you change, it's like you never had wings."
_______________________

The weekend comes and goes and soon its Monday. I don't know which I prefer; weekends or schooldays. On weekends I don't have to be surrounded by my classmates, but that leaves my mind to be my only companion. And if I let it race, it will consume me.

On school days my mind doesn't race so much, distracting myself with classes and essays I don't really care for. But my classmates piss me off. And I have to make a constant effort not to be a complete bitch to them.

It's a lose lose situation.

I find myself most relaxed in potions. Perhaps relaxed isn't the right word, but Black has come to be one of the most tolerable people in school. Not that anyone else would agree with me. Regulus seems to be just as isolated as I feel. He's an assumed death-eater to most, and he rarely seems to converse with anyone else. The boy is just as alone as I am.

I pass Regulus the notes I made while Slughorn was talking. After a few minutes the brunette wizard still hasn't started on anything potion related, still reading through my notes.

"Evans, can you stop tapping your bloody foot it's distracting." Regulus grits his teeth in annoyance, not bothering to face me while he speaks. I stop my absentminded tapping.

"Maybe if you read a bit faster we—"

"I would if I could read your bloody writing." Regulus tosses the paper down onto the desk as he runs a hand through his silky hair, "That," He pins the parchment to the table with his index finger. "That, is fucking illegible. Didn't realize they sent you back a year because you can't write."

"You're a right arrogant twat, you know that?" I huff, not phased by the insult that lacks his usual passion.

"I'm very much aware. Thank you for the observation though, Evans."

This is the most we have spoken since becoming partners and of course, in true Black and Evans fashion, it's in the form of an argument. Though this one lacks the usual malice undertones.  I subconsciously begin to grin at the spat that has no real meaning. Regulus is still a dickhead, even though i've been through so much pain and grief. Not that he knows that half of it. And again, i'm grateful. I don't need to be treated as broken as I feel, especially not by a Slytherin.

Eventually we fall back into our normal routine of silent work. This continues until Slughorn goes to dismiss the students.

"When should we meet then?" Regulus asks, actually turning to me as he speaks. After I give him a confused look, he continues. "Fuckin' hell Evans do you even pay attention anymore? I'm not Lupin, i'm not going to drag your arse through this class. We need to meet to create a potion of our choice some point in the next few days. I'll be in library tomorrow at lunch. Fucking  jot this down if you must, i'm not repeating myself for you again."

And with that, Regulus Black saunters off, A clear sense of arrogance in his walk. I admire how his confidence maintains even when he has no one to back it.

I'm truly fucked in the head if I'm admiring Regulus Black.

☽☽☽

I sit in silence as friends around me eats together. Trying to ignore the cheery chatter of the couple besides me. Usually, I can bribe a kitchen elf to bring my meals to the common room. Today, however, the Marauders and co, are at Hogsmede for lunch.

And I ran out of chocolate frogs to bribe the elves with anyways.

"Hello, Cory," Xenophilius hums as he sits across from me in the great hall, I look up at the boy and give him the faintest of smiles. I always have had a soft spot for the dotty wizard, despite most finding him weird (excluding Pandora). I have always admired his unique view on the world. Always the optimist. I know he isn't as oblivious as most people believe. In fact I think of him as one of the most observant people I know. His sense of aura is not something I admire, but envy. Perhaps I could have saved myself a lot of trouble if I shared his gift.