"Don't you give me up, please don't give up. On me, I belong with you, and only you, baby."
___________
REMUS LUPIN
I like to think i'm a good person.
When i'm alone in my dorm, I like to curl up inside of my own mind and pretend that I'm a good person. Because inside of my mind, I live in a fantasy oh-so-beautiful and oh-so-sweet. Where I'm never the obstacle between what I want and myself.
Where I'm not in my own way.
All. The. Fucking. Time.
The fantasy world changes from time to time, with new people, new dreams and new wants.
This time last year my fantasy world was a completely different place.
I wasn't a werewolf.
My love for Sirius wasn't unrequited.
It was just, good.
When Cordelia started coming back into my life, I noticed I had to escape from reality less and less. She was never included in my personal world, because the real moments always drastically overpowered whatever I could conjure up in my head. She was far too excellent for me just to imagine.
Now she plagues it like a wicked disease.
Because now, far too late, I know.
I know what I want and there's absolutely no way to get it now, so my only option is retreat.
Retreat into my fantasy world.
Where I didn't bite Cordelia.
Where I haven't hurt Cordelia.
Where I won't ruin Cordelia.
I like to think I'm a good person.
Even though I know I'm not.
☽☽☽
"You don't reckon she's decided to skip dinner again, do you?" I ask Lily with a frown.
"I don't know Rem, she said she wanted to speak to everyone at dinner. But who knows?" She shrugs, a small amount of worry equally forming on her face.
Everyone begins to shove down their food and the volume of the chatter steadily increases.
Apparently Cordelia had written Lily at some point today, asking if it would be okay to join us at dinner. The action isn't unusual, her writing instead of actually talking; but I begin to worry she's experiencing the break up worse than I thought.
"I know where she is," Peter says suddenly through a mouth full of food. Marlene whacks him over the shoulder because of his poor table manners.
We all follow where his finger is pointing. The hall door creaking shut behind Cordelia...and then Regulus Black?
He walks straight past her as he heads towards the Slytherin tables. She does that little head shake i've missed seeing so much. What thoughts is she trying to clear though? Alice and Lily wave her over and she smiles in our direction.
YOU ARE READING
'where we are now' remus lupin & regulus black
Fanfiction"You kissed Sirius," I sob. "I know, Cordelia." He whispers. "It's so horrible." "Yes, it is. I wish you hadn't had to see that," I rest my head against his warm chest, using my thick robe to wipe my eyes. I take a few deep breaths, trying to calm m...
