'where we are now' remus lupin & regulus black

Making you cry

"Maybe I'd change for you someday but I can't help the way I feel. Wish I was good, wish that I could give you my love now,"

SIRIUS BLACK

"Care to tell me why I've been dragged out from the comfort of my bed at this hour?" Marlene demands as we arrive at the top of the astronomy tower.

"Because, Darling, the stars are beautiful this time of night." I respond, sending her a wink over my shoulder. I take a seat on one of the wooden benches by the telescopes and pat the empty space next to me. Signaling her to sit.

She rolls her eyes but complies. "Dont flirt with me Black. You're practically the reason i'm gay." Marlene says, with a light-hearted grin on her face.

"No, no, i'm the reason you realized you were gay. Not my fault you lost your virginity to me." I retort with a scoff.

"No, that's entirely on me and firewhiskey," She shivers at the cold, or the memory. Wrapping her robe around her tighter she says, "Stop changing the subject. Why are we really here?"

I look away from her and up to the sky. The stars flicker looking like white paint splattered against a black canvas. When we were young Regulus would say it's an honor to be named after those splatters. It's not an honor. It's a fucking disgrace. I hope he realizes that before it's too late. Bloody hell, it probably already is.

Rubbing my eyes from the oncoming headache, I meet her gaze again. She's eyeing me expectantly. Fuck I hate having to explain myself. It's all I've done my whole life. Explain why I'm not in Slytherin. Explain why my body still has random spasms and I wake up thrashing and screaming. Explain why I can't trust anyone enough to let them in.

Explain. Explain. Explain.

The moon light illumates her frizzy blonde hair thats been pulled into a bun. Marlene has nothing but her robe and knee socks on; her dark blue eyes swirl with concern.

"I need advice." I say, hesitantly.

She bumps her shoulder against mine, "Ask and you shall receive. Now, out with it, it's only me."

I run my hands through my hair. A nervous tick at this point. "I'm no good for Remus. I feel him starting to pull away from me."

"How do you reckon?"

I huff. Cross my arms. "Well, first off, he's mad at me for no bloody reason."

Marlene gives me an incredulous look, "Remus doesn't get upset for no reason, Sirius." The intimidating glare she is giving me sends chills up my spine.

"Alright! Fuck, stop looking at me like that! Ill explain," I say, jumping up from my seat beginning to pace the tower. "He is getting closer to Evans and everyday that goes by causes a strain on us. The worst part is, shes a good person! Who's erm, helping him I guess you could call it. And again, i'm the selfish git who never learned to share. He was the one—the one thing I knew was mine. Now i've gone and ruined it by taking him for granted and being horrible to Evans. But, I don't even feel bad. I can't. I just can't like her. Im only feeling sorry for myself because of Rem." I rant.

She says nothing, allowing me to continue my tangent. "It also doesn't help her case that she still hasn't talked to you since her party,"

Marlene rises to her feet taking a few steady steps over towards me. Placing her hands on my shoulders, "It was only a snog, plus it was a dare." she mutters.

I roll my eyes,"Don't play stupid with me. I see the way you look at her in potions or when she's talking with Remus. I practically invented that look."