'where we are now' remus lupin & regulus black

You broke my heart

"Love. No I'm not in love. Cause you're not worth it. You're not worth thinking of."
______________________

"Please, Sir," My voice sounds pathetic. Stupid and pathetic and small and begging. That's who I was reduced to now. A hollow girl begging her headmaster to switch her potions class because she cant bear the thought of facing her...boyfriend?

"I'm deeply sorry, Ms. Evans. There's simply nothing I can-"

"Bullshit!" I shout against my own better judgement. Dumbledore quirks a brow, but I refuse to back down. I wont run away this time. "Bullshit, Sir. There is always something you can do," I state more calmly, reserved.

He clears his throat, shuffles a few papers on his desk.

"I'm not ready yet. I don't know how I'll react when I see--"

He cuts me off, "You can join advanced potions with the sixth year Ravenclaws and Slytherins. Slugclub will be mandatory and should your grades slip you will be immediately placed back in..."

His words ring out as relief floods through my body. One less thing I have to worry about.

Is it possible for me to somehow finish my schooling without ever coming in contact with another living soul?

"Thank you."

☽☽☽

My first class of the day is potions. Maybe he did it on purpose to remind me of the slack i'd been cut, or maybe it was plain coincidence. Either way, I wasn't grateful for this. I wasn't grateful for anything. No one in sixth year knew Iris was my best friend, so, I would have to try extra to keep myself in check, to not fucking explode in front of them. I still prefer this to my other option, though.

Slughorn is the Headmaster for the green cult, so there is no doubt he will favor the Slytherins I'd be sharing a class with. But I still didn't mind potions, I found it quite interesting actually, though I still would prefer not to be here.

We are making draught of living the death, something I have studied already in sixth year. But I guess I'll be doing a lot of potions like this.

The class groans as each students gets paired with another from the opposing house. I'm just glad I wont be forced to hunt for a partner on my own. A girl whines from besides me and I nearly allow my intolerance to get the best of me, but before it can, I hear my name being called out.

"Cordelia Evans and Regulus Black. These seats if you will, you should do well together such bright students as yourselves." Slughorn says in an all too cheery manner. I feel an unfamiliar surge of enthusiasm at his name. I realize that I am pleased to see him. This knowledge surprises me.

I hesitate to move towards my gestured seat, but quickly do so when I hear the girl begin to complain again, no doubt shutting her up. I never realized how much people complain, including myself, before.

Regulus is already sat, looking just as snobbish as the next pureblood. But he also looks miserable. He had been in a few papers recently Is the Young Black heir next to join the ranks? I remember The Prophets article. I remember not caring much.

We make eye contact as I cross the room, and the boys misery is soon replaced with disgust and annoyance. But I'm relived. Regulus still doesn't like me. And I still don't like him. I know this vile git won't step on eggshells around me, he won't ask if I'm okay like everyone else is bound too. I know that Regulus doesn't give a fuck, that he doesn't care, and I feel glad to have that particular constant in my life.