'where we are now' remus lupin & regulus black

Swim

"I bet you feel it now, baby. Especially since we've only known each other one day. I've gotta work shit out, baby."
_____________________

Small mercies still exist, and they exist in the form of Xenophilous Lovegood and Pandora Lestrange. They'd made me wonder if it's too late to still make friendships that will last a lifetime.

I'm still wondering about it now—with half an empty jug of butterbeer dangling from one hand and Pandora's arm slung around my other shoulder. We're singing a song in the common room. Some screechy sounds of the twisted sisters, it's horrible really. But all of the drunken seventh years have joined in and even some sixth years. It's a Wednesday night, but Ravenclaws just won a match against Hufflepuff. A game I didn't attend, but somehow they've convinced me to stay. To enjoy it.

I know i'm only capable because I don't want to return to my own isolation just yet. I know that's why the hole in my chest isnt opened quite now.

I don't sing. I just sway along with the rest of them, and drink my fair share and for once it's nice to just forget about everything. To ignore the fact that this is just another act of me pretending. This won't make anything go away. That day still happened. Iris is still dead, and Remus is no longer my boyfriend and lord knows what Amos has been up to.

I take another swig of butterbeer to chase away the thoughts and it doesn't work.

So, under the cover of the mass of rearranging bodies and chaos of alcohol ruled whoops and hollers, I leave. I slip out beneath Pandora's arm, past everyone, and out the common room.

The uncrowded air of the hall is nice, I gulp it down, thankful to find the jug of butterbeer still clutched in my fist. I giggle down at it and lift it up in the light, watching the warm coloured liquid swirl against the glass.

It makes me step back too far—sends me stumbling and tripping back a little. I skip to a halt. I haven't felt this light in a long time.

And I don't know how I get down stairs. But, somehow, I continue my journey all the way to the first floor corridor. I continue skipping and and tiptoeing until I see an unusual light in the entryway to the library.

What's left of my rational brain reminds me that the library is closed— or should be closed. But there's a torch light ahead in the section devoted to the Dark Arts. I make my way over, nursing the butter beer, I don't take it far from my lips. Books re-sorting themselves fly past me and over head, almost knocking me over.

But I dodge, skip again, trip, then sort of stumble into the corner where the light is, my corner. A loud giggle bubbles out of my throat.

A chair screeches, but i'm half sprawled across a study table and have to fix myself first to get a sense of my surroundings. I stagger to my feet for balance and brush my curls out of my face.

"I knew it would be you," I say bluntly, wagging a finger at him.

Regulus is, of course, the source of the light. He's got a lantern on the table besides him, casting light across a rather large stack of books.

He's still in his school things. His white shirt and green tie. If it were daytime, everything would be normal.

But it's the middle of the night.