'where we are now' remus lupin & regulus black

We're not just friends

"The moon is there for you tonight. I feel the beating of your heart and you should forget it for a while. We're not just friends, I know you want me to stop the time,"

REMUS LUPIN
ONE WEEK UNTIL BALL

Chatter from the great hall swells around my ears but I can't make out a single sound. Cordelia is setting Christmas decorations up around the hall and something about the sight has me captivated. Especially when she stands on the tip of her toes to place something just out of her reach.

"Hurry up Remus!" James reprimands from across the table as he looks at my plate of untouched lunch. A ham sandwich, pretzels and apple juice. The usual mundane meal.

I groan and look between my all of my friends. James, Sirius, Peter, Frank, Lily, Alice, Marlene, Mary and Dorcas. We're all planning to see each other over winter holiday. So, I really don't see the need for these large gatherings every Friday.

I take a bite out of my sandwich, "I don't think I'm going, mate."

"Why not?" Sirius asks from besides James. "Don't you care about spending time with your dear friends before we graduate," It's meant to be a joke, but much of what Sirius has been saying has been irritating me lately.

I feel terrible because I know this is hardly about graduation, and completely about fear of the war. How much longer will we have to pretend it doesn't affect us? Still, i'm not so keen on the gryffindor-only rule they implicated.

I'm beginning to realize nothing is as fun if Cordelia isn't involved. There's no way to describe it, and I don't want to compare it. I can only say that I want to do everything with her. I'm beginning to feel something intense, and it's going to be the beginning and the end of everything.

"Of course I do," I roll my eyes, "I just think i'm gonna sit this one out. I'll go next time, I promise." I try and reassure. James and Sirius look at each other  warily before carrying out their own conversation.

I lean down to my left to whisper in Lily's ear, "Is something different about Cordelia today?"

It's as if I physically can't keep my eyes off of her. So many thoughts are crashing in my head and i'm using all my willpower to keep them at bay.

Lily raises her brows and follows my gaze, she does a once over of Cordelias figure and nods understandingly. "She's wearing knee socks with her skirt instead of joggers or tights like she usually does,"

I scratch the back of my neck. Really, Remus? You're sixteen years old, nearly getting a hard on over a bloody skirt?

Lily clears her throat, "You know..." She trails off, "I'm pretty sure everyone else is going on the trip to hogsmeade. And we have a lot of shopping to do,"

I look at her blankly. "Huh?"

She sighs and looks to the rest of the group to make sure they're occupied with their conversations.

"We are going to be gone for a very long time Rem..." Lily widens her eyes and tilts her head as if that will help me understand her double meaning.

"Lils, I have no clue what you're trying to say,"

"Merlin, Remus! Do I have to spell it out for you?" Lily whisper shouts. "No one will be in the dorm for a few hours...might be a good chance to ask Cordelia to, I dunno...study..."