'where we are now' remus lupin & regulus black

Don't delete the kisses

"What if it's not meant for me?
Love
What if it's not meant for me?
Love"
_____________________

Four.

4.

F
  O
    U
     R.

It has been four days since Regulus...er—broke up with me. As hours pass by, as time ticks, I think of all I wish I had done different.

If I had said:

' The amount of time we had together was actually not quite large enough for me .'

If I had just lingered by the door uncomfortably instead of actually leaving?

If I wrote a note telling him, you left your green scarf in my room and in my life. The dark one, the heavy one, dyed wool— I suppose. Anyways, please come back and get it. I can feel it and your absence wrapping around my neck from the dim corner across the room.

I've been going to classes. Keeping a wide eye out all around for my Slytherin. He's no where to be seen, ever. All evidence of him has disappeared, emptiness everywhere he used to reside.

It's driving me mad.

It's even brought me to speak to Maxwell Nott.

We sit a safe distance away from each other in the Library. The large table at the centre of the room, during class so not many are here.

Just two students quietly studying. A very inconspicuous sight.

Resting my head in my hand as if i'm tired, I lower my face into the book. "Got my note I see," I whisper lowly, hair falling perfectly over my mouth.

I avoid eye contact but can tell he's tense. "You said it was urgent. What." He sort of snaps, in quick mutter.

Fine, I don't do well with small talk either, Nott.

"Where. Is. He?"

I look at Maxwell now.

His green eyes meet mine, narrow and flick back to his book. "Not the foggiest who you're talking about, Evans,"

"Don't give me all that," I get a bit louder, I clear my throat and look at around to make sure I haven't drawn attention to us. Still, no one is paying any mind. "Where's Regulus?" My voice breaks. Pleads.

"He is gone, Evans. As far as you're concerned anyways. Do not ask and you cannot tell. Hm?" Maxwell flips a page of his book nonchalantly.

"Is he—is he alive?" I feel the bookshelves start to cave in on me.

Please.

Please.

Plea—

"Yes." Maxwell replies immediately and I can breathe. "No thanks to you." I look at him again, confused. He scoffs as if he knows some obvious that truth I don't. As if he's ready to brag. "This is all your fault. You're the reason Regulus, my best friend, can't be here." And he's proud to say it. Proud to let the words rip free of his chest.

And I admit it hurts.

I admit I don't want to consider the possibility he's right.

"Regulus said he had no friends." I reply blankly.

He closes his book in a hurry. "Regulus said he had no girlfriends either. No siblings. No one he cares about. No one that cares about him" Maxwell huffs in annoyance, though I can tell it's not directed at me. "That wanker doesn't know what he has." He stands up.